The Happy Experiment - Days 2 & 3

Continuing the 7 Days of Positivity experiment, I didn't post anything yesterday. The usual culprits: didn't feel like, no mood...also, there were a couple of incidents where I was anything but positive and I really started doubting whether there's any meaning in my doing this. But I guess it's too early to give up, and I really want to think positive. So anyway, I've decided that since I did not post my list of five things to be grateful about yesterday, I'll write about 10 things that I'm grateful for today.

1. I'm grateful to have great parents. Loving, caring, supportive even during the times when I've acted like a total jerk. They've always been there for me and they've always believed in my capabilities and my strengths even more than I have.
2. There are times when I feel like tearing my hair out when hubby and I argue, but all said and done, he's a wonderful guy! He's kind, considerate, helpful, hardworking and an amazing father. I really don't tell him often enough how lucky I am to have him.
3. I'm glad to be here, in India. Even though I had a great time living in the US for six years, it's great to be back. Of course, part of the reason it's been smooth sailing since we came back is where we live, which forms the next point.
4. We live in this beautiful apartment complex with great amenities and nice people. It's a large apartment with lovely views from my balcony and my son has lots of friends to play with. There are no power cuts, no water issues, no cleanliness/hygiene problems. What more could I ask for?
5. I can't even begin to count the friends that I can't do without. I have a lot of them and yet, each one is special. I honestly would feel lost without my friends.
6. I'm thankful to God for blessing me with a voice that can hold a melody. I don't sing much these days, but there are times, especially when I'm cooking, when I dredge up some old favourites from my memory and have a blast singing them at the top of my voice. And I love it when my son says, "Mama, keep singing" when I stop. (And all the while I didn't even think he was listening!)
7. I'm grateful for my laptop and a good Internet connection which keeps me connected to the world and my friends scattered all over the globe!
8. I'm so grateful for the rains that are here! I love rains, have always loved them; as a young girl I used to love getting drenched in the rain (we especially made a big deal about getting drenched in the first showers of the season!). To keep the mood, I've even kept my blog template 'rainy'!
9. I'm so lucky that I love to read and that I have the time to read. Really, I feel that if one doesn't like to read, he/she is missing out on a wonderful lifelong experience. And lately I've heard so many people tell me that thought they'd love to read, they just don't have the time to do so. I feel sad for them.
10. It's probably the most obvious thing to say but I'm grateful that I'm a mother. There are women I know who'd make terrific mothers but somehow motherhood's eluded them so far. I feel it is terribly unfair to them and whenever I think about it I stop taking my son for granted (at least for a little while!)

So there it is, my long list of 'why I should be happy and stay positive'.

The 'Happy' Project

Preeti is a wonderful writer and blogger and I enjoy reading her posts. However the past few days I hadn't visited her blog. Today I managed to get there and read up on her Seven Days of Positivity Experiment. I read her account of all the seven days and decided to do it on my blog as well. You see, I don't consider myself as a very positive person. This experiment or project requires the writer to write down, every day for seven days, five things that he/she is grateful for in his/her life. While this may seem cliched or mundane, apparently, it does work in making one feel happy about the good things in one's life rather than dwelling on the negatives. Now, since I'm generally a cribber, a glass-half-empty kind of person, I thought I might explore this idea and see if it can change my outlook somewhat. For the next seven days, I will post my list of five things that I feel thankful for.



So here goes. Here is my list for today:

1. I walked my son to the bus stop. Sure, I do it everyday but how often have I noted the importance of it? I love that little five-minute, hand-holding walk with him. He is not a very emotional or expressive boy (he's only seven, after all!) but during this walk, he's confided in me about his little fears, about what he's looking forward to, about his school...and more. It's a great way to begin my day.
2. I'm glad to have this blog, where I can write what I feel like. It's great to be able to express your thoughts, to make so many online friends, to read so many other blogs. And I'm really glad I found this experiment; now I have to post everyday for the next seven days, no excuses! That's good for the procrastinator in me.
3. A dear old friend dropped in yesterday. She's one of those 'always happy, always positive' people who are a joy to be with! Just spending minutes with her lifted me up all day! And I'm going to be meeting her again soon!
4. I am so grateful for the solitude I have! Many people ask me if I feel bored or lonely since I'm home alone for a good part of the day. Frankly, no. I love that I have this time and space to myself, that I don't have to cook, have to clean or have to do anything other than use my time wisely.
5. And while on the topic of cooking and cleaning, I'm so glad I have domestic help. After more than 6 years of cleaning the home myself, it's great to have help! Touch wood.

I believe this 'Seven Days of Positivity' thing has really caught on and lots of people are doing it. There's even a Facebook group about it. Now it remains to be seen if I really follow the 'positive thinking' model for the entire day! Good luck to me!!

A Parent's Worst Nightmare (Help Find Tejas)

I came across this blogpost this morning and it left me chilled and depressed. Imagine your child being kidnapped and then not hearing from him or his kidnappers for months??? I have no idea how anybody can function normally after such a horrific incident, and yet, this brave family has...with strength, faith and patience.

Please read this and do whatever you can to help.

On 12th december 2008, time 7:35 am, I drove to the bus stop to drop my son tejas for school.It was like any other normal day for us.But suddenly something happened.A masked man came from behind ,snatched him from me and pushed him at the backseat of a honda civic/accord in front of my eyes..When i tried to stop him,i was fired at,by him.What followed was a series of ransom calls.But they did not give me proof of my child and he has been MISSING since then.




NOW I APPEAL TO MY COMMUNITY AND CALL ON ALL OF YOU TO HELP ME FIND MY CHILD. WHOSOEVER GIVES INFORMATION OR CLUE THAT HELPS US REACH TEJAS WILL BE AWARDED ”50 LAKH”. No questions will be asked to the person who helps in the recovery of my child. It has been 17 months and we do not know what physical or mental trauma my son has been going through.WHAT WAS THE FAULT OF AN INNOCENT 8 YEARS CHILD TO HAVE DESERVED THIS IN HIS FOUNDATION YEARS OF LIFE?




THIS IS VERY MUCH GENUINE, AND TO CONFIRM THE SAME,KINDLY VISIT THE FOLLOWING WEBSITES:




http://www.tejasgaba.com/


http://www.savetejas.com/

When Auro Scared My Son

Image via Wikipedia

Last night they showed 'Paa' on TV. The movie wherein (as everyone knows by now) Amitabh Bachchan plays a 12-year-old afflicted by progeria. The movie which brought accolades for Amitabh as well as for Vidya Balan, who played his mother and of course, for the make-up artist who created the 'aged' face of Auro so well.

We were quite enjoying the movie, especially relishing Auro's endearing wisecracks. Everyone from Vidya Balan to Abhishek Bachchan to Arundhati Nag (especially her!) was a treat to watch.

For the most part of the movie, our son was playing nearby, organising his toys etc. But towards the end of the movie, he too began watching it. We had no idea what went on in that little 7-year-old mind of his.

In the middle of the night, he woke me up saying he'd had a bad dream. When I asked him what he'd seen, he refused to elaborate. I told him the usual, "It's just a dream, go back to sleep". He asked me if it was OK if he didn't go back to sleep at all, if it was morning yet and if not, how much time till it would be morning. He asked for water, used the bathroom and went and peeked out the window to ascertain that it was indeed a long way till morning. Then I asked him again what the dream had been and he said he'd dreamt that he and a friend were being chased by 'Paa' by whom he meant Auro - the aged-child. He was so terrified that his eyes teared up just talking about it. Apparently, Auro's bald, wrinkly face had stuck in his mind in a not-so-positive way.

I spent the next half-hour or so telling to R  how Auro was a good, kind, funny, smart and friendly kid who looked like that because he was sick with a disease. I took the opportunity to explain why some people might look different but are just like us in other ways. I hope he absorbed at least some of it and grows up to view differently abled people in a healthy way. It was also a good chance to teach my son a little bit about prayer and God. I told him what I did when I was scared: I'd pray to God so that I felt better, if not braver. Bless his little soul, he didn't question my faith at all and proceeded to bow his head and pray. His only question was, "If I pray in my mind, can God still hear me?"

My Sins against Gender Stereotypes

There is this tag that is going around. I read Shimmer's, Usha's and Snippets' takes on it and thoroughly liked the idea of doing it myself though no on tagged me yet! The thing to do here is to make a list of all the things that you think makes you go against a stereotype for your gender. e.g. if you're female, then make a list of things that you feel are not 'typically female' and vice versa. So here's what I feel are the 'manly' qualities in me.

1. I love reading the newspaper first thing in the morning. I have to have a cup of tea and read my newspaper as soon as I get up. That's my 'me-time' that's very precious. I particularly look forward to the Sunday Times that now comes with the delightful Crest edition!
2. In the same vein, my day feels incomplete if I leave the daily crossword undone. Sunday's cryptic crosswords are particularly interesting. I save the previous Sunday's paper and check each response for correctness in the next Sunday's paper. Not sure if solving crosswords is a male prerogative, though.
3. I can be extremely calm and collected in times of crises. My brain immediately goes into a 'what needs to be done' mode rather than panic over what has happened.
4. I am the official 'bug-killer' of the family. Both Sr. and Jr. shout for me the moment they see a bug, any bug. Just don't call me if you see a lizard, though!
5. I love watching crime-based shows on TV. CSI, Law & Order, Raising the Bar, Leverage etc. were some of my favorite shows when we were in the US. Here in India, I stay far far away from the Saas-Bahu sagas.
6. I also love to watch news on TV.
7. Though as a kid I wore a lot of pink, it's not such a favoured colour now. In fact, deep blue is one of my best-loved shades.
8. I can change a fuse.
9. I have assembled a queen bed all by myself once.
10. I hate high heels. Still haven't learnt how to walk in them; probably never will. In fact, I'd be happy with just one pair of comfortable chappals to wear everywhere.
11. I have no passion for fashion or designer tags. I look for comfort in my clothes. I'd gladly lounge around in a cotton salwar-kurta all day.
12. I feel totally lost when I hear women discussing designer handbags. I have very specific needs as far as my handbag goes and as long as I have just one that satisfies those needs, it could be from the corner shop on the street, who cares! I'd carry it everywhere - to the mall, the vegetable market, a party, someone's house. . . I could never understand how some women change purses to match their outfits.
13. When it comes to child-rearing, I am more easygoing than my hubby. I don't mind my son getting wet in the rain or bringing in mud-soaked shoes while hubby would be paranoid about it.
14. I am adventurous when it comes to travel. There was a time when I would grab a map and walk all over a new town to explore it!

And I hereby tag the following bloggers to carry this on:

• Pitu
• Kavi
• Shruti
• Swaram

Anyone else is also welcome to do it!

Rape in Hyderabad

A 25-year old American woman was raped yesterday in Hyderabad. Admittedly, it has shocked the residents of the neighbourhood, which is considered a swanky, elite and safe area in the city. The police are still trying to figure out how, in the middle of the night, the rapist entered the 1st floor section of the house where the girl lived, and raped her at gunpoint.

The very thought that someone can invade one's privacy (in all senses of the term) this way makes me shudder. Imagine, you are sleeping soundly in what you feel is your safe haven, your comfortable space, and suddenly you are assailed in this horrific manner! I hope and pray that the girl gets through this terrible time and that the animal who did this is caught and dealt with as soon as possible.

While reading the newspaper report in the Times of India, though, one thing popped out at me and has been irking me ever since. In this article, the last sentence states:

"Her house owners said they had never had a problem with her conduct and that she always paid her rent on time."


I fail to understand the need for that sentence. I mean, this woman has been brutally raped; how does her 'conduct' or her ability to pay the rent on time matter here? This looks like the beginning of a classic 'blame the victim' scenario. So, if the house owners 'had a problem with her conduct' or if she didn't pay her rent on time, would that somehow justify the rape? If not, what is the point of this sentence? Maybe the article writer had one, but it is not clear to me.

Indian Idol Shocker

Naushad Ali Kawa was eliminated from Indian Idol today!! I can't use enough exclamation marks, bold fonts and italics to express the shock and sadness I am feeling after watching the latest episode an hour ago.

Naushad?! The guy had everything: great voice, great looks, good stage presence, versatility. . . He excelled in songs with a Sufi touch but he tried his hand at different genres out of his comfort zone and he shone in them. In fact he was a strong contender for the top slot. If Naushad can be eliminated while the likes of Tia Kar stay in the race, I don't know what to say. Not that she doesn't sing well, you don't get so far without being a good singer. But no, she's simply not in the same class as Naushad, Sreeram, Rakesh, Shashi etc.

A couple of weeks ago when Shashi Suman was voted off, I thought it was a shocker. He too was a superb singer with a strong classical base and versatility as his strengths. But today the shock is about 20 times more. After all I started noticing Shashi only after he sang 'Rind Posh Maal' from Mission Kashmir while Naushad's magic was there for everyone to see and hear from the very beginning. As I mentioned in my last post, he was my all-time favourite.

I rarely cry while watching movies and almost never for a TV show, but today I cried.

I can only hope that someone somewhere is watching and snaps this talented young man up before he gets lost in anonymity again.

Romance in Indian Idol

Since last night, after watching the latest episode of Indian Idol (II5) my mind's abuzz not only with the music and the singing and the songs but also the beauty, the romance, the drama and the emotion in yesterday's show.

The invited guest in last night's show was the beauteous Hema Malini (predictably welcomed with the "Dreamgirl" song), who looked radiant as ever! Of course I can never look at her luminous beauty at this age and not think of cosmetic surgery, but then that might just be a certain green-eyed monster inside! Anyway, so the theme was songs from Hema Malini's movies and also featured the contestants talking about what they would like their 'dream girl/boy' to be like. So there was an overall air of romance. . .

My all-time favourite Naushad Ali began with a bang with the goofy "Main Jatt Yamla" and had everyone tapping their toes with him. Another favourite, Bhoomi - she of the powerful, distinctive voice - faltered mainly due to the song that she was given. And as the emcee Hussain (I'm starting to like him as a host) pointed out, she refused to ask for a different song even though this one was out of her range and comfort zone. Bhoomi struggled with an unfamiliar pitch and a not-so-hot song (as far as singing on stage is concerned) and the struggle showed. Nevertheless, my vote goes to her for sheer honesty and determination; of course, anyone who's seen her sing earlier knows that she's an amazing singer.

But by all accounts, last night belonged to Rakesh Maini, who I think has not only won over my heart but also those of almost everyone who's watched the show from the beginning. Here is a guy who has had no formal training in music and yet sings like a dream. He comes from a humble background, he loves his 'mummy aur papa' - in fact, gets teary-eyed every time he talks about them, but one thing that the viewers didn't know about him was his love-life. When he sang the oh-so-romantic "Humein Tumse Pyaar Kitna", Salim Merchant commented that it was evident that he was singing it for someone special - he sang it with so much honest emotion. And then Rakesh revealed that he did have a girlfriend and how special she was to him and how he had special names for her and why (can't believe any guy can be so sentimental). And then, as he was singing another song "Tumse Milke", which reminded me of my college days when this was the hot favourite of all us girls, Rakesh's girlfriend was brought on stage. He was singing with his eyes closed and his reaction on seeing her was priceless. Of course, what followed was a bit too mushy and overdone for me but still, it was nice to see such a sweet couple.

It is known that Mr.Maini has a large female fan following that contributes to his votes. I hope the votes don't stop now. . .

Monkey Kajol?

I absolutely hate, hate, hate the latest Alpenliebe commercial featuring Kajol!!
The first time I saw it I couldn't believe I was actually seeing Kajol act like a monkey!! I mean, seriously??

I made me wonder if Kajol is really so much in need of money that she has to do such commercials. Like the one for Knorr Soupy Noodles or the Vasmol Super 33 Kesh Kala one. For an actor of her calibre, shouldn't there be a law or something banning her from doing inane, unnecessary ads like these?

 I've never been a big fan of Alpenliebe ads but somehow Kajol being in them made them a little OK. See, I have this image of Kajol as being incapable of doing anything wrong. Not that I am a big big fan of her or anything but I have a healthy respect for her and her acting chops. But for reducing her to a Bandariya, I hereby boycott Alpenliebe!!