my2cents

Chalo Dilli - Mini Review

2012-01-14T01:23:00.000+05:30

I think I should make a rule for myself; if a movie has Vinay Pathak in it, I should watch it. Whichever movie he's acted in, I have liked.

I recently saw 'Chalo Dilli' and was floored. How come I didn't hear more (and better things) about this movie? It's cute, funny, touching and inspiring. It is about two very different people being forced to share some time and space and how they bond despite their differences.

For once Lara Dutta is most aptly cast in the role of a jet-setting, sophisticated working woman who is grappling with a feeling of not being in control of the situation . Whoever chose her for the role should be given kudos. Vinay Pathak, of course, is a delight to watch as the streetsmart middle-class trader with a smile and a saying for every situation. As the duo travel together from Jaipur to Delhi, they (or mostly Lara's character) discover their strengths and weaknesses via various incidents and experiences that they go through. The bittersweet end is somewhat predictable but nice nevertheless.

Thoroughly enjoyed the movie.

Censorship - Indian TV Style?

2012-01-11T13:21:00.000+05:30

I was watching Sex and the City on TV last night. Even though the show is shown on Indian television, it is heavily edited with 'certain' scenes cut short and 'certain' words bleeped out. And considering that it is SATC, that's a LOT of words. e.g. a**, w****, b****, f***.
But, I burst out laughing when they bleeped out "virgin" from the phrase "extra virgin olive oil".

Really, come on!

Flash Mob at CST Mumbai

2011-12-04T00:06:00.004+05:30

Saw this on someone's wall on Facebook and immediately had to share it. A flash mob organised by 23-year-old Shonan Kothari came together at Chhatrapati Shivaji Terminus train station in Mumbai and danced to 'Rang De Basanti' on 27th November 2011. It coincidentally happened to be a day after the anniversary of the 26/11 attack on the same place.

I have posted in the past about one such flash mob. I really loved the idea of people coming together seemingly spontaneously, performing a dance or an act and then dispersing back into the crowd. It was great to see one in India.

For Ms.Kothari, it was dream come true to make this happen. For me, it's now in my bucket list to be part of a flash mob at least once!

Goosebumps...all over again!

2011-11-22T13:44:00.001+05:30

It was Parents' Day at my son's school.

After a number of performances, which included songs, dances, jokes, skits etc., the kids concluded the programme with a gusty rendition of the national anthem. As the audience rose and joined them, I felt goosebumps - those familiar little twinges that begin at the arms and go all the way to the heart - like I would have every time I sang the Jana Gana Mana as a child.

Only, this time it was because it was my child singing it! That child who had not heard of it a mere couple of years ago because we were living abroad.

One more reason to feel good about returning to India!

Can't Get This Song Outta My Head!

2011-08-15T14:21:00.001+05:30

A few days ago we bought this audio CD (yes, we're the dinosaurs who still BUY audio CDs as opposed to downloading music from the web) which has a random collection of songs from many new Hindi movies. One of them, which for some reason sounded very 'Goan' to me went something like "Seedhe saade saada saada...." Sounded inane but the tune was very catchy. I didn't pay much attention to it after that until recently when on a whim I decided to Google the lyrics of this song... and hit paydirt!! The lyrics are beautiful. The first two lines are inane indeed. The second line is also grammatically wrong, but it hardly matters. It is about sharing/giving/loving/exchanging with the one you love. As someone had commented somewhere, "Who says good lyrics are dead?" This is a shining example of simply saying "I love you".

The song is from the movie Aakrosh (the new one, not the Om Puri one). The singer is the talented Jawed Ali - who's not very well known but has some amazing songs to his credit. (Guzaarish from Ghajini, Jashne Bahara from Jodha Akbar, Tum Mile from Tum Mile etc.)

Apart from the lyrics, the other thing I love about this song is the initial part wherein the strains of the harmonium take you back to simpler times.

Regrettably the picturization is very unimaginative. Maybe the song didn't fit in the movie, I don't know. But it has been picturized like any other romantic song. And as far as I can make out, there's nothing Goan about the song.

What is remarkable about this song that it doesn't restrict itself to being a "love song", so to speak. Barring a few words, it could be a father singing to his child, or a sister to a sister, friend to friend. That's the beauty of it. Maybe that's why it's been going round and round in my head for days now...and I'm in no hurry to get it out!

Below are the lyrics.

Seedhe saade saara sauda seedha seedha hona ji

Maine tu ko paana hai ya tune main ko khona ji

Aaja dil ki karein saudebazi kya narazi aa re aa re aa re aa

Sauda hai dil ka yeh, tu kar bhi le

Mera jahaan bahon mein tu bhar bhi le

Saude mein de kasam, kasam bhi le

Aake tu nigahon mein sanwar bhi le

Sauda udaanon ka hai ya aasmanon ka hai

Le le udaanein meri le mere par bhi le

Sauda ummeedon ka hai, khwabon ka neendon ka hai

Le le tu neendein meri, nainon mein bhar bhi le

Dil kahe tere main hothon se baaton ko chupke se loon utha

Us jagah dheere se haule se geeton ko apne doon main bitha

Sauda taraanon ka hai, dil ke fasaanon ka hai

Le le taraane mere, hothon pe dhar bhi le

Sauda ujaalon ka hai, roshan khayalon ka hai

Le le ujaale mere, aaja nazar bhi le

Main kabhi bhoolunga na tujhe chahe tu mujhko dena bhula

Aadaton jaisi hai tu meri, aadatein kaise main bhooloon bhala

Sauda yeh vaadon ka hai, yaadon iraadon ka hai

Le le tu vaade chahe toh tu mukar bhi le

Sauda ishaaron ka hai, chaahat ke maron ka hai

Le le ishaare mere, inka asar bhi le

Here's the link to the song on Youtube.

Important Update

2011-03-14T11:01:00.000+05:30

I haven't updated this blog in quite a while now. Well, the reasons are numerous but unnecessary to mention here. What's important is that I'm here with an update:

Baby no. two will be arriving in less than a month!

I hope to keep posting updates here, whenever possible.

"Sorry Bhai" Review

2010-11-29T09:44:00.000+05:30

Last Friday, I was surfing TV channels and came across a movie called "Sorry Bhai". The name was vaguely familiar; I'd read a review somewhere. Don't remember much about the review except that it mentioned one scene (one of the best scenes in the movie, as I later discovered) as being very subtly done. I saw that it was directed by Onir, who has directed "My Brother Nikhil" among others, which I loved by the way. So I decided to go along and see the movie though it was pretty unheard of.

"Sorry Bhai"'s story is nothing much to write about; the usual love triangle with a guy falling in love with his
brother's fiancee and so on. However, the light yet sensitive treatment, the sterling cast, the dialogues, the witty one-liners - they all combine to make a lovely watch!

Boman Irani and Shabana Azmi are perfect as the sparring, yet loving couple. They kind of reprise their roles in "Honeymoon Travels Pvt. Ltd". Sanjay Suri and Sharman Joshi play their adult sons and Chitrangada Singh is the love interest of both of them.

The film begins with Boman, Shabana and Sharman receiving at invitation to Mauritius, where elder son Sanjay has arranged his own wedding with Ms.Singh. After a little righteous indignation on the mother's part ("My son didn't ask us, he just informed us of the wedding!"), the father and the younger son convince her to make the trip to Mauritius. Once there, Sharman and Chitrangada and frequently thrown together and start developing feelings for each other. The repercussions of these feelings forms the rest of the movie.

While everyone has done a fabulous job as far as acting is concerned (though I feel Sanjay Suri, as usual, is under-utilised), Boman Irani shines as the large-hearted, wickedly witty husband/father who, when push comes to shove, can put his foot down real hard. The exchanges between him and Shabana, and with him and Sharman are laugh-out-loud! His roles in the Munnabhai movies and in "3 Idiot"s have been praised to the high skies but I always felt that he was getting typecast in such roles. This one, as also the one in "Khosla ka Ghosla", is one of his best roles. Too bad it didn't get noticed as much. Go Boman!

Shabana plays the mother with her customary elan, alternating between affectionate and suspicious towards her daughter-in-law to be. Nothing less was expected from her.

Sharman is appropriately restrained as the man torn by guilt and passion. Though strangely, the bumbling, 'absent-minded professor' routine is abandoned after the first few minutes.

Ms. Singh looks breathtaking and is good at acting. Her character is bold, independent and yet racked by confusion as she discovers her feelings for Sharman.

I didn't really get the ending, but even then, it made for a wonderful time! Maybe next time I'll pay more attention to the end.

Flipkart books

2010-11-16T13:56:00.000+05:30

The other day I was blog-hopping when I came across the name Flipkart. I had no clue about it so I proceeded to check out the website. It is a site that delivers books, music, games, movies etc., much like amazon.com or other such sites. But the good part about it is that it has a very convenient Cash on Delivery option which doesn't bind you to paying via credit card or otherwise online, which I don't particularly like. Also, shipping is free and there are many books at some discount or another.

Anyway, so I ordered three books and after a slight delay by the couriers, I received them last evening! It was a treat to open the packages and revel in the sight, touch and smell of the new books.

I'm already on to the first one, "Keep Off the Grass" by Karan Bajaj. This book was mentioned in the Times of India Crest edition a couple of weeks ago. The beginning is good, funny...Hope the promise holds.

Wrong answer? Right Answer?

2010-11-13T14:04:00.000+05:30

I read CoffeeRings' latest post and it reminded me of something similar that happened to my son in school.

My son, who's in 2nd standard, was doing his homework, answering questions in a chapter titled "Safety". It talked about safety at home, in school, at play and in the outside world.

One of the exercises was to tell whether a statement was true or false. One of the statements was, "It is okay to walk on the road." which my son, based on his experience, marked True. He was surprised when his teacher marked it wrong. I had a hard time explaining the difference between the 'expected answer' and the 'actual answer'. (This is the same kid who refused to walk on the streets in the early days after we'd returned from abroad, saying that streets were for cars.)
Another time, there was a question about how different rooms/areas in a home are utilised. My son wrote that he did his homework on the dining table (which is true, he does). His teacher marked it wrong saying that the 'right' answer was 'study table'.

While I do agree that the teachers have to set some form of uniformity in grading answers, I wonder if we are not confusing the children this way or if we are teaching them to lie just to be 'right'.

Current Reads: Mughals

2010-11-09T09:07:00.000+05:30

I am currently reading two books, more or less simultaneously, both of which have to do with the Mughals and their lives/rule in India. The first one is

The Last Mughal - the Fall of a Dynasty, Delhi 1857, by William Dalrymple

and the other is

Empire of the Moghul - Brothers at War, by Alex Rutherford.

The former, I had on my Amazon Kindle for the past few months and only started reading it recently. William Dalrymple is one of my favourite authors. I read his "City of Djinns" way back in 2001 and was very impressed with the depth of his research on Delhi. His passion for the city and its history is apparent. "The Last Mughal" tells the story of the last days of Bahadur Shah Zafar's reign. It is inevitably linked to the 'Great Indian Mutiny' of 1857, which I knew best only with reference to the Sepoy Mutiny and Mangal Pandey. Though I'm only halfway through the book, I can say that it gives a very clear picture of those days of conflict, confusion, brutality, patriotism and mayhem that followed the uprising of soldiers. The movie "Junoon" featuring Shashi Kapoor, Jennifer Kendall and Nafisa Ali among others is another thing that comes to mind while on the subject.

"Brothers at War" is the second book in the "Empire of the Moghul" series by Alex Rutherford. The first one, "Raiders from the North", narrated a fictional account of the life of Babur, the first Mughal emperor. "Brothers at War" is the story of Babur's son, Humayun - his life, his conquests, his defeats, his personal demons and more.

While one book is a painstakingly researched study of historical events, the other is a work of fiction, though having historically genuine threads running through it. What makes it interesting for me, especially the timing of reading both of them, is that it is like looking at almost two ends of the Mughal empire: the beginning and the end. And it is fascinating!

Why on Disney?

2010-10-19T10:55:00.000+05:30

One of the reasons I loved the Disney Channel (especially Playhouse Disney, for younger children) while in the US was that they had absolutely no commercials. No cute/pesky/smartalecky kids urging you to buy this toy or that doll; no unnaturally well made-up, perfectly decked out moms singing praises of a particular 'health drink' or food. Just wholesome programming for the preschool/toddler age-group which my son fell in.

He has kept up with his love for this channel even after our move to India and despite the commercial breaks, thankfully he's so far resisted the pushy sales pitch in them. However, a couple of days ago I was in the kitchen when I heard a commercial go, "Kya nasha hai, ek nasha hai..."!! I wondered if my son had switched channels, but no, he was still on Disney and the ad for Fiama DiWills soap was playing. It shows a male and a female model playing tag - In The Bathroom. The ad ends with what looks like both of them showering together!! What was it doing in a kids' TV channel?

Neither the jingle nor the commercial itself is fit for showing on an exclusively kids channel. What are the Disney people thinking???

Recent Reads

2010-08-31T10:04:00.001+05:30

A while ago someone had suggested that I write about the books that I read. Considering the number of books I'm reading these days, that should provide a lot of material for writing here. The only problem is that I don't particularly like writing 'reviews'. At least not ones that I expect people to take very seriously. I mean, I don't believe that I can authoritatively tell someone to read or not to read a book (or see a movie) based on my loving it or hating it. Taste is a very personal thing. An author I absolutely adore may seem boring to someone else; on the other hand, I may detest a so-called 'classic'. So, if anything, my review would be a very personal opinion.

So with that disclaimer out of the way, let's see...I recently picked up three Agatha Christie novels. (Special offer during the Crossword Bookstore Annual Sale.) I've been a big fan of her since childhood and have hugely enjoyed both M.Hercule Poirot and Ms.Jane Marple. All the same, there have been times when I've found some books intolerably slow and boring. Unfortunately, one of the books I bought the other day turned out to be one such bore. "Passenger to Frankfurt" starts intriguingly enough and I looked forward to the story (even though this is one of those stories that don't feature either of my favourite detectives). But as it moves on, it becomes such a jumble of political/historical/revolutionary issues that I just didn't have patience with it anymore and abandoned it

Before this AC novel, I was reading "In Other Rooms, Other Wonders" by Daniyal Mueenuddin on my Kindle. It is a collection of short stories based in Pakistan. Though the stories are separate, they are nevertheless connected by a common thread of one or two people and/or places. This book has been a New York Times bestseller and a Pulitzer Prize finalist. Pardon me, but I just didn't get it. I found it disappointing. I couldn't find a single redeeming feature in the stories; no single character or story stands out as inspiring, courageous, funny, thought-provoking, endearing, heart-rending or just plain entertaining. Maybe it's just me (the disclaimer again!) but I abandoned this one halfway too. (I used to have qualms about leaving books half-read. Not any more. There are too many good books and too little time to read them, so I don't waste my time on the ones I don't like.)

I am now reading "Tiger Hills" by Sarita Mandanna. It's got me hooked from the first page. I'll write more about it when I finish.

Random Thoughts on Books and Ebooks

2010-08-10T13:52:00.000+05:30

As we were getting ready to leave the US, my husband's colleagues gave him a Kindle (ebook reader) as a parting gift. He very sincerely came and placed it in my hands saying I'd do more justice to it than he! In fact he insisted that this was a gift intended for me (according to him, he'd dropped broad hints that his wife is a voracious reader!) because he got other gifts too. I was thrilled, because not only had his thoughtful colleagues given him the Kindle, they had also bought gift cards worth many many books that I could download online! As a result, amongst all the feverish sorting, packing, discarding activity that went on during our last few days there,I was also frantically browsing the web, reading reviews, checking prices and downloading book after book on my Kindle! It paid off when we came to India and I had time on my hands but no books (Real books, that is). I devoured book after book on the Kindle.

While on the subject, let me tell you my honest opinion on ebook readers. There are many kinds in the market these days apart from the Kindle, for example the Apple iPad and a new device called Phi. They are very convenient as far as buying, reading and storing books is concerned. For instance, you can store almost 2000 ebooks on the Kindle (more or less depending on the size of the books, of course). You can carry them around (all of them!) with ease. The device is so slim you can slip it in your handbag/briefcase/backpack and whip it out anytime anywhere and just...read!

Sure, it's very chic and cool and smart about ebook readers, but here's my problem. To me the process of buying (or even renting) a book is not a simple 3-step process wherein I

go to bookstore/library
select a book
pay for it/check it out

Nuh-uh! It is more on the lines of

Find a long enough space of time (e.g. entire afternoon, entire morning, entire day!!) to visit the bookstore/library
Tell hubby and son to 'carry on' elsewhere while I browse.
Walk around checking different sections, just a general stroll to get into the mood, you know?
Shoo away any hovering salesperson with a smile and a 'just browsing' while trying not to steal a look at the book in the shelf behind him/her.
Take out my 'Reading Wishlist'. (Really, I have one!)
Check for books on the list. Pick each one up.
Riffle through the pages, inhale deeply to smell the 'new book' aroma. Read the back blurb. Read a random paragraph from a random page.
Check the price. Put it in the shopping basket (or not!).
Repeat steps 7 and 8 multiple times till satisfied or till time, money or both fall short!
Come out beaming and glowing in anticipation of a good read!!

So you get the idea? Where's all the sensory experience of touching, smelling and actually reading a book with an ebook? There's no individuality to the cover pages; I can't check how many pages I'm through (though Kindle tells you how far in the book you are, in percentages) and how may more are left. And worst of all, I can't use a real bookmark!

I'm crazy about bookmarks; I collect them from all places that I visit. Close friends have also started gifting me bookmarks (God bless them!) So it's a great joy for me to choose one from my collection and put it in any book I'm reading. I can't do that in a reader. And can you imagine a nice mahogany floor to ceiling bookshelf with one solitary Kindle sitting in it instead of many, many beautiful bound books! Sacrilegious!

There was an article about why ebooks haven't caught on so much in India. If most Indians are like me, then I'm not surprised at all.

Why do Things Like This Happen?

2010-08-09T11:30:00.000+05:30

OK, so I’ve failed. I’ll not shy away from admitting that. I failed in carrying out the “Seven Days of Positivity” experiment. Not only did I not feel positive about everything that occurred in the past few days but I also failed to write about it, which according to me, is like breaking a promise.

So the couple of times that I did feel like writing something here, I thought, “Oh, but how can I write anything without first completing my experiment?” And so things got pushed further and further.

This morning, one comment by a visitor to my blog made all the difference. This stranger left a compliment for one of my posts and I decided that it was time to stop procrastinating. I’ve decided that I’m going to forget about the Seven Days project and just write what comes to my mind. I guess, you could call that ‘positive thinking’, no?

And the one thing that has been going around and around in my mind since this morning was a small news item in today’s Times of India. A young tribal girl in West Bengal was stripped and paraded in her village while men beat drums and caned her and groped her all the way. It turns my stomach even as I write about it. Her “crime” apparently was to fall in love with a boy of another caste. The poor girl was made to walk 8 km – naked! Can you even begin to imagine that! With a horde of men following her, touching her, molesting her and recording it on mobile phones!! What kind of human beings are these? Can we even call them humans? How can any human do this to another human? Who gave them the right to do this? Who gave them the right to decide to ‘punish’ this girl – and for what? For loving someone of a different caste? Seriously?! I really can’t wrap my head around this one. It reminded me of movies like “Pratighaat” and “Lajja” which highlighted similar atrocities against women. It reminded me that what we urban, educated people many times dismiss as “these things don’t really happen” (maybe because we don’t want to believe that we do; it’s too uncomfortable to accept it) does indeed happen.

Apparently, some journalists have contacted the police and demanded action against the perpetrators. I can only hope and pray that some form of justice is granted to the girl – though knowing our judicial system, that sliver of hope is very, very thin. And anyway what could ever compensate her? How do you restore her dignity that has been so brutally violated? How do you even begin to heal her mind, her soul? How do you restore her faith in men? How do you make her a normal young girl again? Can anyone?

The Happy Experiment - Days 2 & 3

2010-07-29T09:12:00.000+05:30

Continuing the 7 Days of Positivity experiment, I didn't post anything yesterday. The usual culprits: didn't feel like, no mood...also, there were a couple of incidents where I was anything but positive and I really started doubting whether there's any meaning in my doing this. But I guess it's too early to give up, and I really want to think positive. So anyway, I've decided that since I did not post my list of five things to be grateful about yesterday, I'll write about 10 things that I'm grateful for today.

I'm grateful to have great parents. Loving, caring, supportive even during the times when I've acted like a total jerk. They've always been there for me and they've always believed in my capabilities and my strengths even more than I have.
There are times when I feel like tearing my hair out when hubby and I argue, but all said and done, he's a wonderful guy! He's kind, considerate, helpful, hardworking and an amazing father. I really don't tell him often enough how lucky I am to have him.
I'm glad to be here, in India. Even though I had a great time living in the US for six years, it's great to be back. Of course, part of the reason it's been smooth sailing since we came back is where we live, which forms the next point.
We live in this beautiful apartment complex with great amenities and nice people. It's a large apartment with lovely views from my balcony and my son has lots of friends to play with. There are no power cuts, no water issues, no cleanliness/hygiene problems. What more could I ask for?
I can't even begin to count the friends that I can't do without. I have a lot of them and yet, each one is special. I honestly would feel lost without my friends.
I'm thankful to God for blessing me with a voice that can hold a melody. I don't sing much these days, but there are times, especially when I'm cooking, when I dredge up some old favourites from my memory and have a blast singing them at the top of my voice. And I love it when my son says, "Mama, keep singing" when I stop. (And all the while I didn't even think he was listening!)
I'm grateful for my laptop and a good Internet connection which keeps me connected to the world and my friends scattered all over the globe!
I'm so grateful for the rains that are here! I love rains, have always loved them; as a young girl I used to love getting drenched in the rain (we especially made a big deal about getting drenched in the first showers of the season!). To keep the mood, I've even kept my blog template 'rainy'!
I'm so lucky that I love to read and that I have the time to read. Really, I feel that if one doesn't like to read, he/she is missing out on a wonderful lifelong experience. And lately I've heard so many people tell me that thought they'd love to read, they just don't have the time to do so. I feel sad for them.
It's probably the most obvious thing to say but I'm grateful that I'm a mother. There are women I know who'd make terrific mothers but somehow motherhood's eluded them so far. I feel it is terribly unfair to them and whenever I think about it I stop taking my son for granted (at least for a little while!)

So there it is, my long list of 'why I should be happy and stay positive'.

The 'Happy' Project

2010-07-27T10:19:00.000+05:30

Preeti is a wonderful writer and blogger and I enjoy reading her posts. However the past few days I hadn't visited her blog. Today I managed to get there and read up on her Seven Days of Positivity Experiment. I read her account of all the seven days and decided to do it on my blog as well. You see, I don't consider myself as a very positive person. This experiment or project requires the writer to write down, every day for seven days, five things that he/she is grateful for in his/her life. While this may seem cliched or mundane, apparently, it does work in making one feel happy about the good things in one's life rather than dwelling on the negatives. Now, since I'm generally a cribber, a glass-half-empty kind of person, I thought I might explore this idea and see if it can change my outlook somewhat. For the next seven days, I will post my list of five things that I feel thankful for.

So here goes. Here is my list for today:

I walked my son to the bus stop. Sure, I do it everyday but how often have I noted the importance of it? I love that little five-minute, hand-holding walk with him. He is not a very emotional or expressive boy (he's only seven, after all!) but during this walk, he's confided in me about his little fears, about what he's looking forward to, about his school...and more. It's a great way to begin my day.
I'm glad to have this blog, where I can write what I feel like. It's great to be able to express your thoughts, to make so many online friends, to read so many other blogs. And I'm really glad I found this experiment; now I have to post everyday for the next seven days, no excuses! That's good for the procrastinator in me.
A dear old friend dropped in yesterday. She's one of those 'always happy, always positive' people who are a joy to be with! Just spending minutes with her lifted me up all day! And I'm going to be meeting her again soon!
I am so grateful for the solitude I have! Many people ask me if I feel bored or lonely since I'm home alone for a good part of the day. Frankly, no. I love that I have this time and space to myself, that I don't have to cook, have to clean or have to do anything other than use my time wisely.
And while on the topic of cooking and cleaning, I'm so glad I have domestic help. After more than 6 years of cleaning the home myself, it's great to have help! Touch wood.

I believe this 'Seven Days of Positivity' thing has really caught on and lots of people are doing it. There's even a Facebook group about it. Now it remains to be seen if I really follow the 'positive thinking' model for the entire day! Good luck to me!!

A Parent's Worst Nightmare (Help Find Tejas)

2010-07-26T09:16:00.002+05:30

I came across this blogpost this morning and it left me chilled and depressed. Imagine your child being kidnapped and then not hearing from him or his kidnappers for months??? I have no idea how anybody can function normally after such a horrific incident, and yet, this brave family has...with strength, faith and patience.

Please read this and do whatever you can to help.

On 12th december 2008, time 7:35 am, I drove to the bus stop to drop my son tejas for school.It was like any other normal day for us.But suddenly something happened.A masked man came from behind ,snatched him from me and pushed him at the backseat of a honda civic/accord in front of my eyes..When i tried to stop him,i was fired at,by him.What followed was a series of ransom calls.But they did not give me proof of my child and he has been MISSING since then.

NOW I APPEAL TO MY COMMUNITY AND CALL ON ALL OF YOU TO HELP ME FIND MY CHILD. WHOSOEVER GIVES INFORMATION OR CLUE THAT HELPS US REACH TEJAS WILL BE AWARDED ”50 LAKH”. No questions will be asked to the person who helps in the recovery of my child. It has been 17 months and we do not know what physical or mental trauma my son has been going through.WHAT WAS THE FAULT OF AN INNOCENT 8 YEARS CHILD TO HAVE DESERVED THIS IN HIS FOUNDATION YEARS OF LIFE?

THIS IS VERY MUCH GENUINE, AND TO CONFIRM THE SAME,KINDLY VISIT THE FOLLOWING WEBSITES:

http://www.tejasgaba.com/

http://www.savetejas.com/

When Auro Scared My Son

2010-07-11T00:00:00.000+05:30

Image via Wikipedia

Last night they showed 'Paa' on TV. The movie wherein (as everyone knows by now) Amitabh Bachchan plays a 12-year-old afflicted by progeria. The movie which brought accolades for Amitabh as well as for Vidya Balan, who played his mother and of course, for the make-up artist who created the 'aged' face of Auro so well.

We were quite enjoying the movie, especially relishing Auro's endearing wisecracks. Everyone from Vidya Balan to Abhishek Bachchan to Arundhati Nag (especially her!) was a treat to watch.

For the most part of the movie, our son was playing nearby, organising his toys etc. But towards the end of the movie, he too began watching it. We had no idea what went on in that little 7-year-old mind of his.

In the middle of the night, he woke me up saying he'd had a bad dream. When I asked him what he'd seen, he refused to elaborate. I told him the usual, "It's just a dream, go back to sleep". He asked me if it was OK if he didn't go back to sleep at all, if it was morning yet and if not, how much time till it would be morning. He asked for water, used the bathroom and went and peeked out the window to ascertain that it was indeed a long way till morning. Then I asked him again what the dream had been and he said he'd dreamt that he and a friend were being chased by 'Paa' by whom he meant Auro - the aged-child. He was so terrified that his eyes teared up just talking about it. Apparently, Auro's bald, wrinkly face had stuck in his mind in a not-so-positive way.

I spent the next half-hour or so telling to R how Auro was a good, kind, funny, smart and friendly kid who looked like that because he was sick with a disease. I took the opportunity to explain why some people might look different but are just like us in other ways. I hope he absorbed at least some of it and grows up to view differently abled people in a healthy way. It was also a good chance to teach my son a little bit about prayer and God. I told him what I did when I was scared: I'd pray to God so that I felt better, if not braver. Bless his little soul, he didn't question my faith at all and proceeded to bow his head and pray. His only question was, "If I pray in my mind, can God still hear me?"

My Sins against Gender Stereotypes

2010-07-09T00:05:00.008+05:30

There is this tag that is going around. I read Shimmer's, Usha's and Snippets' takes on it and thoroughly liked the idea of doing it myself though no on tagged me yet! The thing to do here is to make a list of all the things that you think makes you go against a stereotype for your gender. e.g. if you're female, then make a list of things that you feel are not 'typically female' and vice versa. So here's what I feel are the 'manly' qualities in me.

I love reading the newspaper first thing in the morning. I have to have a cup of tea and read my newspaper as soon as I get up. That's my 'me-time' that's very precious. I particularly look forward to the Sunday Times that now comes with the delightful Crest edition!
In the same vein, my day feels incomplete if I leave the daily crossword undone. Sunday's cryptic crosswords are particularly interesting. I save the previous Sunday's paper and check each response for correctness in the next Sunday's paper. Not sure if solving crosswords is a male prerogative, though.
I can be extremely calm and collected in times of crises. My brain immediately goes into a 'what needs to be done' mode rather than panic over what has happened.
I am the official 'bug-killer' of the family. Both Sr. and Jr. shout for me the moment they see a bug, any bug. Just don't call me if you see a lizard, though!
I love watching crime-based shows on TV. CSI, Law & Order, Raising the Bar, Leverage etc. were some of my favorite shows when we were in the US. Here in India, I stay far far away from the Saas-Bahu sagas.
I also love to watch news on TV.
Though as a kid I wore a lot of pink, it's not such a favoured colour now. In fact, deep blue is one of my best-loved shades.
I can change a fuse.
I have assembled a queen bed all by myself once.
I hate high heels. Still haven't learnt how to walk in them; probably never will. In fact, I'd be happy with just one pair of comfortable chappals to wear everywhere.
I have no passion for fashion or designer tags. I look for comfort in my clothes. I'd gladly lounge around in a cotton salwar-kurta all day.
I feel totally lost when I hear women discussing designer handbags. I have very specific needs as far as my handbag goes and as long as I have just one that satisfies those needs, it could be from the corner shop on the street, who cares! I'd carry it everywhere - to the mall, the vegetable market, a party, someone's house. . . I could never understand how some women change purses to match their outfits.
When it comes to child-rearing, I am more easygoing than my hubby. I don't mind my son getting wet in the rain or bringing in mud-soaked shoes while hubby would be paranoid about it.
I am adventurous when it comes to travel. There was a time when I would grab a map and walk all over a new town to explore it!

And I hereby tag the following bloggers to carry this on:

Anyone else is also welcome to do it!

Rape in Hyderabad

2010-07-08T08:52:00.000+05:30

A 25-year old American woman was raped yesterday in Hyderabad. Admittedly, it has shocked the residents of the neighbourhood, which is considered a swanky, elite and safe area in the city. The police are still trying to figure out how, in the middle of the night, the rapist entered the 1st floor section of the house where the girl lived, and raped her at gunpoint.

The very thought that someone can invade one's privacy (in all senses of the term) this way makes me shudder. Imagine, you are sleeping soundly in what you feel is your safe haven, your comfortable space, and suddenly you are assailed in this horrific manner! I hope and pray that the girl gets through this terrible time and that the animal who did this is caught and dealt with as soon as possible.

While reading the newspaper report in the Times of India, though, one thing popped out at me and has been irking me ever since. In this article, the last sentence states:

"Her house owners said they had never had a problem with her conduct and that she always paid her rent on time."

I fail to understand the need for that sentence. I mean, this woman has been brutally raped; how does her 'conduct' or her ability to pay the rent on time matter here? This looks like the beginning of a classic 'blame the victim' scenario. So, if the house owners 'had a problem with her conduct' or if she didn't pay her rent on time, would that somehow justify the rape? If not, what is the point of this sentence? Maybe the article writer had one, but it is not clear to me.

Indian Idol Shocker

2010-07-06T23:14:00.000+05:30

Naushad Ali Kawa was eliminated from Indian Idol today!! I can't use enough exclamation marks, bold fonts and italics to express the shock and sadness I am feeling after watching the latest episode an hour ago.

Naushad?! The guy had everything: great voice, great looks, good stage presence, versatility. . . He excelled in songs with a Sufi touch but he tried his hand at different genres out of his comfort zone and he shone in them. In fact he was a strong contender for the top slot. If Naushad can be eliminated while the likes of Tia Kar stay in the race, I don't know what to say. Not that she doesn't sing well, you don't get so far without being a good singer. But no, she's simply not in the same class as Naushad, Sreeram, Rakesh, Shashi etc.

A couple of weeks ago when Shashi Suman was voted off, I thought it was a shocker. He too was a superb singer with a strong classical base and versatility as his strengths. But today the shock is about 20 times more. After all I started noticing Shashi only after he sang 'Rind Posh Maal' from Mission Kashmir while Naushad's magic was there for everyone to see and hear from the very beginning. As I mentioned in my last post, he was my all-time favourite.

I rarely cry while watching movies and almost never for a TV show, but today I cried.

I can only hope that someone somewhere is watching and snaps this talented young man up before he gets lost in anonymity again.

Romance in Indian Idol

2010-07-06T09:22:00.003+05:30

Since last night, after watching the latest episode of Indian Idol (II5) my mind's abuzz not only with the music and the singing and the songs but also the beauty, the romance, the drama and the emotion in yesterday's show.

The invited guest in last night's show was the beauteous Hema Malini (predictably welcomed with the "Dreamgirl" song), who looked radiant as ever! Of course I can never look at her luminous beauty at this age and not think of cosmetic surgery, but then that might just be a certain green-eyed monster inside! Anyway, so the theme was songs from Hema Malini's movies and also featured the contestants talking about what they would like their 'dream girl/boy' to be like. So there was an overall air of romance. . .

My all-time favourite Naushad Ali began with a bang with the goofy "Main Jatt Yamla" and had everyone tapping their toes with him. Another favourite, Bhoomi - she of the powerful, distinctive voice - faltered mainly due to the song that she was given. And as the emcee Hussain (I'm starting to like him as a host) pointed out, she refused to ask for a different song even though this one was out of her range and comfort zone. Bhoomi struggled with an unfamiliar pitch and a not-so-hot song (as far as singing on stage is concerned) and the struggle showed. Nevertheless, my vote goes to her for sheer honesty and determination; of course, anyone who's seen her sing earlier knows that she's an amazing singer.

But by all accounts, last night belonged to Rakesh Maini, who I think has not only won over my heart but also those of almost everyone who's watched the show from the beginning. Here is a guy who has had no formal training in music and yet sings like a dream. He comes from a humble background, he loves his 'mummy aur papa' - in fact, gets teary-eyed every time he talks about them, but one thing that the viewers didn't know about him was his love-life. When he sang the oh-so-romantic "Humein Tumse Pyaar Kitna", Salim Merchant commented that it was evident that he was singing it for someone special - he sang it with so much honest emotion. And then Rakesh revealed that he did have a girlfriend and how special she was to him and how he had special names for her and why (can't believe any guy can be so sentimental). And then, as he was singing another song "Tumse Milke", which reminded me of my college days when this was the hot favourite of all us girls, Rakesh's girlfriend was brought on stage. He was singing with his eyes closed and his reaction on seeing her was priceless. Of course, what followed was a bit too mushy and overdone for me but still, it was nice to see such a sweet couple.

It is known that Mr.Maini has a large female fan following that contributes to his votes. I hope the votes don't stop now. . .

Monkey Kajol?

2010-07-01T23:04:00.001+05:30

I absolutely hate, hate, hate the latest Alpenliebe commercial featuring Kajol!!
The first time I saw it I couldn't believe I was actually seeing Kajol act like a monkey!! I mean, seriously??

I made me wonder if Kajol is really so much in need of money that she has to do such commercials. Like the one for Knorr Soupy Noodles or the Vasmol Super 33 Kesh Kala one. For an actor of her calibre, shouldn't there be a law or something banning her from doing inane, unnecessary ads like these?

I've never been a big fan of Alpenliebe ads but somehow Kajol being in them made them a little OK. See, I have this image of Kajol as being incapable of doing anything wrong. Not that I am a big big fan of her or anything but I have a healthy respect for her and her acting chops. But for reducing her to a Bandariya, I hereby boycott Alpenliebe!!

Poha and Me

2010-06-18T09:03:00.000+05:30

From the beginning, I have had a love-hate relationship with poha (also called Powva, Avil, beaten rice etc. in various languages) and its various preparations viz. Kaanda Poha, Batata Poha etc. As in, I love eating all these dishes but hate making them! (Since both the raw material as well as the finished product are called 'poha', for clarity I'll call the uncooked poha 'poha' and the finished dish 'Poha'. (Its yumminess justifies the capital P, don't you think?) From the time when I learnt to cook as a single working woman to the present when I can boast of being able to cook a range of dishes for multiple persons, somehow I never could make good Poha - that light and healthy snack that people seemed to rustle up in minutes! I'd feel ashamed, even, to tell someone that I didn't know how to make Poha; it's almost like saying I don't know how to make chai! But whenever I tried, either the poha grains would get too soggy and stick together in one gooey lump or would be hard as nails and stay stubbornly separate, not just from each other but also from the oil, the spices, the veggies, the taste. . . you get the drift. . .

Until this morning. . .

Today after dropping off R at the bus-stop, I hurried home to respond to the 'rumbly in my tumbly' - as my son used to say about his hunger when he was a preschooler. Usually this is one time of the day when I can't think of anything but 'what do I eat for breakfast!'. Today I decided I won't give in and grab the nearest, easiest thing possible but instead have a sensible, healthy and light breakfast. As I opened the kitchen cabinet and mulled over what I could feed myself, I mentally crossed out muesli (healthy, but don't feel like it today), bread (had it last night), fruit (too cold for morning), kaju katri and mysore pak (don't even think about it!!!). . . Finally my eyes rested on a container that had poha, lying there all forlorn and neglected. I decided to give it one more try. After all, I hadn't made Poha in a long time and during this time I had gathered tips on what to do and what not to do. So out came the green chillies, the curry leaves, the boiled potato and of course the poha. Somehow, the grains turned out soft and moist and absorbed all the flavours of the spices and the tadka. Yay. . .success at last!!

To cut a long story short, I finally managed to make pretty decent Batata Poha (even if I say so myself) that I wolfed down in a matter of minutes. And since no one else was around for me to brag about it, I decided to blog about it, feeling a little bit like Julie in "Julie & Julia". . .By the way, it just occurred to me that this is my first ever post about food or recipes. Hmm. . .

A New Beginning

2010-06-17T08:50:00.000+05:30

In a span of a few minutes today, I read two blog posts that bemoaned bloggers who don't post regularly. My little conscience went, "They're talking about you! You, the lazy-I'll-only-read-I-don't-feel-like-blogging-today You!"

So to shut my own little Jiminy Cricket up, I decided to post something today. Today, after all, is an important day.

My son R started his schooling in India today. As he got dressed in his uniform, picked up his school bag (unusually heavy with textbooks and notebooks) and boarded the school bus, I felt proud and anxious at the same time. He kept up a brave front but I could see that he was nervous about the 'newness' of the whole setup. Dear God, forgive me if I swamp you today with prayers to take care of him on this crucial day.

So that's the latest for now. My apologies to the few dear friends who faithfully visit this site only to see the same old post again and again. Hopefully the dry spell is over now.

Things I Love (or not) about Being Back!

2010-05-04T17:40:00.001+05:30

A friend reminded me to write about my experiences after returning to India. I had mentioned in this post and in this one that I would record here whether my expectations (on returning home) came true or not.

So here are some of the things that I love about being in India:

The thing that comes foremost to my mind is that, for the first time, my son has lots of playmates. He is out of the house by late afternoon and back only after sundown (sometimes, like yesterday, he is also out playing in the morning, afternoon and evening!). No worries about 'adult supervision' or arranging play dates or driving him to the park!
In the US, shopping for clothes used to be a depressing job. Every time I tried out outfits, I'd pledge in the fitting room to 'definitely lose 10 lbs.' While I would reluctantly buy something because I had to, here I feel like buying everything! I love going shopping; I love the current styles in churidar-kurtas and salwar suits, each one more gorgeous than the other.
I love the fact that at any given time on TV, there are a handful of Hindi movies going on. Sure, there are movies like, "Watan ke Rakhwale" and "Ilaaka" and other such 'masala' movies, but it feels nice to have the option of watching them. And yes, MTV and Channel V play Hindi songs!
I am so relieved that I can cook with all my masalas and not worry about having the smell linger in the apartment or about setting off the smoke detector. I can keep all windows and balcony doors open and the odours just disappear! No more lighting fancy candles to mask the aromas.
I missed attending the Crossword Bookstores sales every time because I was never in the country when it happened. Now I have my list of books ready and am waiting for the event.

And here are some things that I am not happy about:

I am as yet wary of driving a manual transmission car here. I used to drive an automatic one in the US so I'll have to learn to drive a 5-speed one here. But the condition of the traffic is such that it gives me jitters even being a passenger in the car, so driving seems a little far off in the future as of now.
It is early days still, but I am trying to look for a job. All around me I see women who have done so much with their lives and I sometimes feel like I have wasted a good many years. But then, as I said, I've just gotten here...

More to come...

Proof-reading, Anyone?

2010-04-28T08:23:00.000+05:30

Now that I am back in India I have decided to try my hand at proof-reading and copy-editing. I have been testing the waters in these fields for the past year or so and find that I love it!

Through this post, I'd like to invite anyone who has any document/article/paper/manuscript that needs a 'looking-over' to please send it to me and I'll proof-read and/or copy-edit it, for a very nominal fee, of course.

Bring it on!!

Update 2

2010-04-22T22:45:00.000+05:30

It is now one whole month since I moved to Hyderabad. These days the first thing anyone asks before the word "Hyderabad" is even out of my mouth is, "Ooh, it must be sooo hot!" Well, to be fair, even long-time residents of the city have said that this year the heat is really worse than ever, but somehow I don't feel it so much. Of course, I have the luxury of not having to go outdoors in the heat...

In fact, I have really taken to the dry weather here. Line-dried laundry dries in a couple of hours; dishes dry almost as soon as you've washed them; and best of all, no stickiness on the skin! I hate humid weather and the dry air is a boon to me.

Now, before anyone starts thinking all this heat has gone to my head, I'll end here.

IPL has the local team Deccan Chargers playing. I think it's not fair that they never got to play in a home ground. Must be such a boost to have one's home crowd cheering the team on...

Update 1

2010-02-23T20:43:00.000+05:30

It's been 10 days since we landed in India. A sometimes-hectic, sometimes-boring 10 days.
Biggest news of the last week is that we got admission for R in a good school in the city of Nizams. To answer the question many of you have asked, we'll be ultimately living in Hyderabad. The whole test/interview/admission thing is a whole different story that I will write about soon.
Now the next worry is to find a good place to stay. BTW, coming from Mumbai, rents in Hyderabad seem very reasonable. Just keeping my fingers crossed for finding the right place.

Before I forget, here are some thoughts from the top of my head:

Still getting used to seeing celebrities (film stars and sportstars) endorsing everything imaginable - from designer watches and clothes to biscuits, ballpens and underwear!
Can't understand why almost every commercial features kids, whether or not the product it's selling relates to kids. Insurance schemes, exterior paint and more, what do they have to do with children. It is so clear that ad agencies think most people can't resist cute kids. I beg to differ.
The traffic! OMG! I don't think I'll ever get used to the chaos called traffic; though I know I will. But I'm still not sure that I'll ever be able to drive here.
My 6-year-old is super excited about seeing 'street doggies', and 'COWS!' on the street.

I am just grateful that he is happy being here. Today he mentioned that our town in the US was 'boring' and that there are so many people to meet and play with here. Icing on the cake!

More later.

In Transit

2010-02-12T15:27:00.001+05:30

Logging in from Seoul! Halfway home...

Must be a sign of getting old; am so exhausted already!

Seoul is a winter wonderland, totally blanketed in snow.

More when we reach Desh!

The Last Night

2010-02-11T12:55:00.000+05:30

Tonight is the last night I will spend in this apartment, this town, this country and I don't want to go to sleep. We've been so busy clearing the place and packing our bags that it is sinking in only now that I will never again see my beloved local library again; never browse the shelves at the neighborhood Target store again, never see the school wall where my son's silhouette adorns a mural...

Well, they say never say never! After all many NRIs have gone to live in India only to come back to their adopted country again. I fervently hope that we're not among those. Not just for patriotic reasons but also for the sheer logistical nightmare that it is! At every move we throw away perfectly good stuff just because we can't take it all with us. Time after time, we settle down, form friendships, develop attachments to people and places, only to pick up our bags and move again. It has happened to us and a lot of others that we know. So, we hope that we don't have to do it all over again, no matter how good life has been here. This time, I want the move to be permanent...or at least, really long-term.

So here are the things that I am looking forward to once I go back to India:

Indian Clothes: I have always preferred Indian clothes over Western ones. Especially tailored outfits that fit my otherwise 'unfittable' shape! I am so excited about wearing colorful cottons with embroidery, block prints etc. etc. once again.
Setting up Home: We will be in a city with no close relatives around. So setting up home will be challenging but at the same time I expect to have a lot of fun buying stuff for the home and doing it up!
School Uniform: I'm waiting to see my son in a school uniform. Since there are no uniforms in public schools here, I can only imagine how he would look in a smart, tailored outfit.
Travelling in India: This is something I've always wanted to do. Now that we will be living in India, we can use long vacations for travelling and visiting the famous and not-so-famous places around the country.
Working Again: Probably the most important great thing about coming back to India. No legal restrictions about me working and earning a living. Though I enjoyed my time as a stay-at-home mom all these years, now I'm itching to go back to work. Keeping my fingers crossed!

I will add more to this list as more ideas hit me...

Almost Time...

2010-02-10T14:33:00.000+05:30

We leave for India in less than two days. Note how I say "leave for India" and not "leave US". I've never been good at saying goodbyes. To be honest, I hate saying goodbyes. I usually don't get teary-eyed, no matter how much I know I'll miss someone/something/someplace. And that gets me all awkward ...that I'm not crying...Maybe someone has some kind of psychoanalysis for this kind of behavior, I don't know.

Anyway the point I'm trying to make is that I'd like to see our move as moving 'towards' something, rather than 'away from' something else. I guess its my way of lessening the impact of the realization that I may never ever return to the US. Not to live here, at least.

I had promised to write a list of the things I think I'd miss about the US once I'm in India. Here are few of them.

The weather: Most people love California for its warm weather. Well, here's someone who loves it when it is cold, or better still, rainy-stormy-cold! I hate hot weather and I loved summers here only after it cooled down in the evenings. So the cool temperatures; the clean, crisp air; the rains that make everything sparkly clean...I'm going to miss them.
Rainbows: I've always been a sucker for rainbows. As a child and even as an adult, every time it rained while the sun was out, I'd crane my neck to look for that nascent rainbow. And in the six years that I've lived in USA, I've seen more rainbows than I had seen in my entire life before! Once I saw one on the first day of the year; I took it as an omen of good things to come!
Driving: Driving for me is a simple means of getting from point A to point B. But even for someone like me, it is a great pleasure to listen to my favorite music and just cruise along without having to worry about too much traffic etc. I'm predicting that I won't have the courage to drive in the city traffic in India; so I guess I'm going to miss the leisurely drives here.
The people: Americans have been called rude, ugly and whatnot. But to me, they seem like happy, confident, considerate, and most importantly, non-interfering people. I love that I can wear sweats to the grocery store and not worry about "what will someone think?" Nor do I have to worry about being 'eve-teased' (that maddeningly euphemistic term for sexual harassment) That is something that gets my goat every time. (Of course, at my age such incidences reduce drastically, but that's not the point.)
The fact that all I have to do to see a majestic view of hills is to look out the window. And all the while living in the midst of civilization, not some remote place.
The TV shows: How could I forget them! I am SO hooked to shows like Law & Order, Medium, Monk, and more recently, The Good Wife etc. After these, I shudder to think of all the Saas Bahu serials on Indian TV. ( I used to shudder earlier too, but I'll shudder more now.)

OK, I think that's it for now. As a disclaimer, for anyone who doesn't know me very well, I love my country and I'm happy to be going back.

Next post, what I'm looking forward to...

Edited to add:

7. The Library: My most favorite place of all! Our local library is absolutely fantastic and I've made very good use of it over the past few years. For a long time in the beginning I couldn't get over the fact that there were so many books here and I could read them for FREE! Now, of course, the thought of leaving it saddens me.

Son of the Soil!

2010-02-07T05:40:00.001+05:30

Almost everyone that I've talked to about our returning to India has asked me, "How's the little one taking it?" And then I hear stories of how some kids just refuse to go live in India. Of course, I also hear stories about how well most kids adjust once they are back.

To answer the question, so far my son has been very enthusiastic about the move. Maybe he's just excited about the people coming in to buy our household stuff, or about meeting his cousin back in India...I don't know but I am thanking my stars that this is not something I have to worry about...for now!

And by the way, he just floored me the other day. I was in his classroom and his teacher announced to the class that we were moving to India. One of the kids asked my son, "Why do you have to go back?" Without skipping a beat, very matter-of-factly, my son replied, "Because that is my country!"

I'm sure I stood a few inches taller after that!

Hope or Worry?

2010-02-04T22:59:00.000+05:30

As we get ready to pack our bags and move back to India, I remember the words of another friend who moved back last year after a good 8 years in the US.

She said, "I'm preparing for the worst. I'm not going back thinking: 'Oh wow, I'm so thrilled to be back in India!' because I know it is going to be difficult, in the initial days at least." Now, a year later, completely and happily readjusted to life in India she credits her satisfaction to the fact that her expectations were low.

Sounds like a good plan, except that: I Am Thrilled About Going Back!! So what does it mean? Does it mean that I'm going to be sorely disappointed with the ground realities of living in India? Or will a positive attitude only help? To be clear, I am not all starry-eyed about the move. I know that it will be hard, especially now that we have to hunt for schools for the little guy, worry about finding maids, learn to handle curious/prying neighbours/relatives etc. etc. - things we didn't have to worry about before. And I know I'm going to miss a lot of things about life in the US. But still I am happy to be going back.

That can't be bad, can it?

In my next post I'm going to write my list of the things I'll miss when I leave the US...

Hum To Jaate Apne Gaon!

2010-02-03T23:18:00.000+05:30

I have an announcement to make. (It's kind of like an excuse for not writing regularly here...)

After almost six years of living the US of A, we're going back apne desh! Very soon...

There are a whole lot of things I want to write about regarding the move: the fears,the hopes,the expectations, the excitement... Also the nitty-gritties of an international move...I hope to put it all down here. I have an interesting idea; I want to write down my impression of what I think it'll be like to live in India and then once I am actually there and settled down, I'd like to revisit those impressions and see how many of my fears and expectations came true.

I just hope to have the time and the discipline to actually do it.
Wish me luck!

Too Much Networking?

2009-12-15T22:38:00.000+05:30

I consider myself to be a somewhat Internet-savvy person. Hey, I know how to watch videos on YouTube; upload pictures on Picasa; watch missed TV shows on hulu; maintain accounts on various social and professional networks; blog!

But you know what? Lately I've had this 'Less is More' feeling, at least with respect to social networking sites. I am on Orkut, Facebook, LinkedIn, Shelfari etc. and not surprisingly, I'm finding it more and more difficult to keep track of everything. The various user ids, passwords, nicknames/avatars, birthdays, special days, comments, photos...

Oh yes, the photos! Sometimes, out of the blue I get a comment from a 'friend' about a photo that I posted somewhere. I had no idea he/she could see it! Uh...that is not a very comforting feeling. Sure, people post all kinds of things on the net these days but common sense dictates that the less you display, the safer it is. Not that I have any scandalous photos/videos to show, I'm just saying!

Also, the fact that my friends' friends can see what my friends' friends are writing on my/their walls...kind of creepy, isn't it? Recently I read about the change in the privacy rule for Facebook. Ok, so they're taking the privacy issue seriously. But somehow, it doesn't do much for me.

I realise that I'm sounding like an ancient, distrustful, parochial dinosaur in today's 'flat' world, but I am really thinking of cancelling all my electronic networks. After all, if someone wants to get in touch with me real bad, they can always e-mail me, call me or come and see me in person. Or, at the very least, leave a comment here!

Right?

Anyone remember this?

2009-11-19T23:42:00.000+05:30

Out of the blue, this morning as I was brushing my teeth it came to me. A snippet, a long-ago memory, an almost-but-not forgotten tune. . .

It was many years ago. We'd just gotten a our first colour TV in our home. I think it was some time in the late '80s. And some form of major sport event was going on in India. (Was it the Asian Games in New Delhi? No, that was in 1982.) And there was this song that came on TV to advertise for the event. It featured major stars from the movies/music/sports/arts etc. The song went something like this:

"Aao chalein, yun chalein dagar, nazar ek ho,
Hum jab chalein, sab chalein, safar magar ek ho,
...
Sare ke sare hum khel ke khiladi,
Jo niyam ke pakke ho, sab se agadi,
..."

I loved it! Especially because it featured the newest heartthrob of the country at that time, Aamir Khan. I used to drop everything and rush to the TV every time I heard the signature tune of the song! It was something akin to the "Mile Sur Mera Tumhara" spot that came much later.

I've tried to find the video on the net... Googled it, Youtubed it...but haven't been able to find it anywhere, yet.

Just wondering if anyone else remembers it and can find a video of it somewhere.

Movie: Dhoop

2009-11-13T22:29:00.000+05:30

The other day I saw the DVD of a Hindi movie called Dhoop in my local library and checked it out. Last night I had the chance to watch it. And I am happy that I did.

Dhoop is based on the true story of Capt. Anuj Nayyar's parents' struggle.

In a nutshell, the story goes like this:

"Capt. Rohit Kapoor dies during one of the skirmishes in the Kargil War and the Govt. of India posthumously awards him the Maha Vir Chakra. It also allots a petrol pump for his family. The only next of kin for Capt. Kapoor are his parents. Though they initially are reluctant to accept the petrol pump, they see the principle behind it and agree to it. That's where there nightmare begins.

Capt. Kapoor's father, Professor Kapoor, goes about the business of getting the land, electricity, water supply etc. sanctioned for the petrol pump and is frustrated to see that not only do the general public and government servants not value his son's sacrifice for the country, they are downright rude and corrupt. Whichever government official that Kapoor Sr. goes to, asks him for bribes. When he refuses, he is harassed, threatened, his house broken into, etc.

How the old couple, supported by Rohit's fiancee, struggle against the scary odds and come through it is the rest of the story."

My first reaction on seeing the movie was that I had never even heard of this movie in the general media before. While the most ludicrous of so-called 'action' and 'comedy' movies are hyped to heaven, a topical, sensible, very well-made movie like "Dhoop" goes unnoticed. Why?

Rip Van Winkle Wakes Up!

2009-11-12T23:04:00.000+05:30

The last time I wrote here was waaaay back in April. SInce then there have been numerous queries from friends - close friends, blogger-friends, close-blogger-friends - and family about why I haven't written. Now, after all this time, even they've stopped asking. Fair enough! I'd have stopped long before.

Well, so here I am, trying to resuscitate an almost-dead blog. The thing is, I don't even have a very good reason for not writing. It just got neglected....

In all this time, a lot of things have happened; a lot of milestones reached, important decisions made, things acquired, relationships nurtured. And I missed out on logging in all that important stuff here.

But here I go again, this time hoping to write more, write better.

Wish me luck!!

A Rainbow Unlike Any Other!

2009-04-26T22:13:00.001+05:30

All the children in my son's kindergarten class were painting rainbows. They were provided with paints in the six colors of the rainbow. (Yes, six! Not seven, as we were taught in India when we were kids.)

As I've mentioned before, I volunteer in my son's classroom twice a week and happened to be around when they were doing this particular project. I instructed the kids to paint in the order of the rainbow colors: Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue and Purple. Most of the kids accepted it without argument and turned in some beautiful rainbows.

My son, however, is a big fan of traffic lights. In our little town, he knows each light that is broken or not working. He can differentiate between the different types of lights: LED or just plain colored glass, and knows which intersection has which. So, when it was his turn to paint, he insisted that the colors should go Red, Yellow and Green! On the rainbow! I had to explain that this was a normal rainbow and not a traffic signal and he couldn't paint it red, yellow and green. Thankfully, he agreed after a little persuasion.

Then I moved on to other kids and other projects and by the time I came back to my son, he had already painted his rainbow (See picture). I looked at it for a while and when I couldn't make sense of it, I asked him to explain his "different looking" rainbow. He said, "There was no room for the last three colors, so I painted three little ones with them!" What do you say to such reasoning? I reminded him once again of the times we'd seen rainbows and asked him to think about what they really looked like.I even thought of making him re-do the whole thing but then, I decided that this was a unique rainbow This is how my son drew it and it's special for me! So here it is...

Note: This morning we were practising 'opposites'. After the usual, up/down, come/go, in/out etc., he asked me what's the opposite of 'side'. I was flummoxed. 'Side'? "The Other Side!" he exclaimed triumphantly, while I smiled and made a mental note of writing it down..

A Rose by Any Other Name

2009-04-21T09:32:00.000+05:30

Last year, in a burst of gardening enthusiasm, hubby and I picked up a rosebush from a nursery. I knew close to nothing about how to grow roses or to tend to the plant or anything else. I just went by the little tag (that came along with the bush) that explained when and how to prune etc. I also read up online about the subject. And Miracle-Gro helped, of course!

I'm happy to report that our rosebush has survived one year with us and has rewarded us with at least ten flowers so far. And not just any flowers; gorgeous, large, bright orange roses! And did I mention that this particular rose is named "Fragrant Cloud"? Well, you just have to be within 10 ft. of it to know why.

This morning, as I went out into the patio to admire this latest blossom, I was enveloped in...you guessed it, a cloud of fragrance! The whole patio was smelling so divine, now I know what people mean when they say something's smelling like roses!

(Deep breath) Aah...

You've got to see this!

2009-04-14T05:04:00.001+05:30

I saw this fantastic video and just had to share it with you all!
It starts with an ordinary scene of a railway station and then slowly, like a bud blossoming into a flower, what appears to be an impromptu jig by 2-3 people turns out to be a full-fledged, beautifully choreographed dance on an evergreen favorite song! Don't miss the reactions of the unsuspecting public!
"Train Station"

My Earliest "Book Memory"

2009-04-08T22:50:00.000+05:30

I just read a prompt on Plinky asking people which book made them nostalgic. I thought about it and this is what came back to me.

I must have been about five or six years old. I think I was in Lower KG(Jr.KG, Pre-K)at that time. At the end of the school year, we would have our Annual Function, during which, among other events, the prize distribution would be held for academic and extra-curricular achievements. I think I came first in my class that year, so I got this book, "The Ugly Duckling" by Hans Christian Andersen as a prize.

I think this was the first book that I ever owned! It's been a long long time since I saw that book. Yet, I still remember most of the details of the book. It was a board-book. The illustrations were brightly coloured - a lot of yellows! I can see some of the pictures even now very clearly - like the one where the duckling falls into a pot of flour. I don't remember who read the book to me; maybe I read it myself, but I did read it many many times.

Unfortunately, I don't have the book anymore. I guess I must've given it away or something much before I realised the sentimental value of the book. But no matter, "The Ugly Duckling" lives on, and will always live on, in my memory!

At Snail's Pace, Literally

2009-04-07T12:30:00.000+05:30

A few days ago, it was raining over a long period of time and it was wet and cold for days. Maybe because of that, this snail climbed all the way up our patio fence and onto the little flower pot on top of it.

I had to take a picture of it. My son and I spent a few minutes watching as it progressed from the top of the pot to the bottom and off it. So engrossed were we that I forgot to take pictures of "The Snail's Progress", as I had imagined my next blog-post title to be. Well, for now, just this one picture will have to do.

Much Ado About Accents - Part II

2009-04-04T06:35:00.000+05:30

Usha's post is responsible for this one too; this time, one of the people who commented on her post reminded me of this.

The 'commenter' wrote about how most of us Indians do not differentiate between the sounds of 'V' and 'W'. To be very honest, I did not know the difference between the two sounds till a few years ago. It was only after coming to the US that I started noticing the subtle differences between the way the locals said 'way', 'we', 'walk', 'work', etc. and the way I said them. It was an Aha! moment for me when I realised the difference between V and W; I'd always wondered why there were 2 letters for the same sound! And I was so smug when I could point out Rani Mukherjee's faux pas in "Hum Tum" when she says to Saif Ali Khan, "Main tumhein awoid kar rahi thi!" Ha! Caught ya!

However, I can sympathise with Rani. Years of habit are not so easy to shake off for us either and both Hubby and I routinely interchange the two sounds. In fact, now our five-year-old has started correcting us! The other day he said, "Mommy, why do you say "Vunn minute" for "One minute"? I just looked at him with a "Yeah-yeah-OK-Now-go-get-ready!" look. And then just the other day, he told me, "You know, daddy says, "Vait, vait!" instead of "Wait,wait!"

Even in my son's class, where there are quite a few Indian kids, I've seen teachers emphasising on the way they say the 'W' sound. The other day I paid special attention to the teacher as she was teaching one boy to say 'we'. She asked him to look at her lips as she pursed them into an O, like when we say "Oo" and then said, "Ooee: not vee".

That was clear!

Much Ado about Accents

2009-03-31T21:15:00.000+05:30

Usha's latest post prodded a long-forgotten memory.

When I was working at my first job, I used to commute, with my coworkers, in a bus to the factory/lab. The commute was one of the best parts of the job because it gave me almost an hour of continuous reading time each way. Of course, sometimes the person sitting next to me would be chatty and I'd put my book away. Anyone who knows me knows that I like to talk as much I like to read!

So one day, I was engrossed in reading, when I felt someone occupy the seat next to me and I was amused to note that it was the Big Boss's nephew, who had recently joined the company. Big Boss was the General Manager. His nephew stood out in the crowd because of his ultra-hip haircut and his 'hi-fi' accent, as we girls called it. You see, this young man (let's call him B) had spent some years getting his higher education in the UK and thus spoke with what we called 'a foreign accent'.

Anyway, so B and I introduced ourselves and started talking. He turned out to be quite interesting (and not weird, as we used to think). We got around to talking about the row between Prince Charles and Lady Diana (Yes, it was that long ago!) and he asked me if I thought she should divorce him. He, in fact, asked me, "If your husband was super-rich, he made sure you led a comfortable life, didn't physically abuse you but had extra-marital affairs, what would you do? Would you leave him or ignore his infidelity?" I was quite flummoxed - this coming from an almost-total stranger! I don't remember exactly what I replied but I'm pretty sure the answer would be quite different, were he to ask me the same question today!

Well, after a little while, I gathered enough courage to ask him, "So why do you speak with this funny accent? (Okay, I may not have said "funny"!) And he said, "You know what, I'm not the one with an accent; you are! You speak with an Indian accent while I don't have any accent." It didn't make any sense to me! I prided myself on not having a regional accent at all and this guy says I have an Indian accent? He's nuts!!

Only now do I realise that he was probably right. In the West, especially in the US and UK, if you speak "like them", then you don't have any accent. While if you speak what I considered unaccented English, it is accented. And even among the English and the Americans, there are regional accents that set them apart: the Irish Brogue, the Southern Twang etc.

So I've come to the conclusion that we need to shed this complex about having or not having accents. They're no big deal. They just indicate where you are or where you came from and should be taken like that. Accents are "put on" or "modified" for clarity and better comprehension and not just for "impressing" people.

I wonder where in the world B is today and how he speaks! And does he have any idea that he has inspired a whole blog post?

Hero

2009-03-30T11:21:00.000+05:30

On March 21st 2009,4 police officers of the Oakland Police Dept. in California were shot and killed by a criminal after a standoff. This was the top headline of the day and for the next few days. There was an immediate outpouring of grief for the dead men and support for the police department from all quarters: the common man, the media, the politicians. A few days later, a funeral/memorial service was held for them at a local stadium. Thousands attended the service. There was live coverage of the service by all local television stations. The fallen men's friends and coworkers came forward and spoke about them: about their lives and loves and memories of the past and dreams of the future. It was truly touching. Of course, there might have been some who felt that the event was politicised; senators were present, so was the Governor! But discounting that, all in all, I felt this was a fitting tribute to those who died fighting "the bad guys".

It made me think of Constable Tukaram Ombale, the brave Mumbai policeman who tackled Ajmal Kasab, one of the terrorists of the Mumbai terror attacks on Nov. 26th, 2008. He was armed with just a lathi - yes, just a baton - and yet, he jumped this guy who had sophisticated guns and who started shooting at him. He caught hold of Kasab's gun and even after being shot mutliple times in the stomach, did not let go of the gun. This gave the other cops the chance to attack Kasab (again, with just lathis) and thus capture him. I cannot even imagine the guts of Constable Ombale to be hugging the barrel of a gun that's spitting lead into him!

And watching the Oakland policemen's funeral, I thought to myself, did we, as Indians, value what constable Ombale did? Do we appreciate the enormity of his actions? If it had not been for him, the only terrorist caught alive in the whole attack wouldn't have been! And what is being done for Mr.Ombale's family today? Do we know? Do we care? After all the noise and hoopla from the political parties has died down, when there are more "current" affairs to look at, do we remember this courageous man who showed bravery in the most frightening of situations?

And then I read that Constable Tukaram Ombale is going to be awarded the Ashok Chakra. Well, some little corner of my heart is satisfied.

Come over, sometime.....

2009-03-09T21:42:00.000+05:30

I met this lady, H, in my apartment complex a few months back. I helped her with something, she thanked me profusely and we chatted for a while. I discovered that she was from a city in India that I had spent some time in and had fond memories of; she also had a son of around the same age as mine. So like many of us who meet new people, we exchanged phone numbers and invited each other to our homes for play- dates with the kids. But somehow we never got around to calling each other or visiting each other. We met a couple more times as we were getting into or out of our cars in the common parking area or near our mailboxes and we repeated our invitations and assertions of "Coming over". And again, we never did.

Then one fine day, I met H again as I was coming in and she was going out of her building. I smiled at her and said brightly, "Hi H! How're you!" I was flabbergasted when she just looked through me and walked away without a word! I was pretty sure I had said those words to her quite audibly, so there was no question of her not hearing me or even not seeing me (you can't miss me if I'm in front of you, believe me!). Then why did she behave the way she did? I spent the next couple of hours analysing what I might have done to offend her (despite one part of me telling me to forget about it, that it was not worth thinking about). And try as I might, I couldn't think of anything at all.

Except that I'd not kept my promise of visiting her! But then, neither had she!

And that got me thinking, how much do we mean them when we say things like, "Come over to my place sometime", "Let's meet up for coffee/tea/lunch sometime"? I love to meet people and have them over but many a time, I am not able to actually do that. I get busy with my daily routine and am loath to disturb that, especially with a 5 yr-old who loves any distraction so that he can escape homework! So am I a liar for saying "I'll come over....", "Let's meet..." and then not doing it? Am I the only one or do others face this problem too? And how do people on the other side feel. I too have been on the receiving end of this but I let it go because I can understand the person's problems, but there might be some (like H) who feel strongly about taking things like casual invitations seriously. I am really curious.

I remember reading a post in a blog somewhere about something similar but don't remember whose blog that was. I'm posting this here so that I can get other opinions on this matter. Please let me know what you feel about this.

Meanwhile, I hope H can come up to me and tell me what really is bothering her.

Makeover!!

2009-03-05T13:04:00.001+05:30

So what if I never got a glam makeover in my life (and never will, most probably!)? My blog just got one! And am I thrilled with it!

The whole credit for the new look of this blog goes to nm, who's a wizard at this. She just asked me a few questions, I sent her some of my photographs and she designed this lovely, professional-looking header. She also guided me step-by-step through the whole process of setting it up, making it sound so simple that even an html-illiterate like me could "get" it!

Nm, Thank You! For your sharing your creativity and your time, and for your patience with me as I groped my way along. I couldn't even have imagined it without you.

May your tribe increase! (pun intended!)

Escape..

2009-03-05T00:20:00.000+05:30

Is it just me or do others get this feeling too sometimes?

Every time I spend some quality time at the library (not the usual run-dropbooksoff-pickbooksup-runback kind of visit), or read blogs about books, or get my usual update from the local bookstore I get this desperate, sinking feeling that there are SO MANY books out there, waiting to be read, enjoyed, analysed, discussed; so many stories to explore, to curl up with, to sink into... and just not enough hours in a day! I feel like even if I did do nothing but read, read, read for the rest of my life, I couldn't read enough!

But then, that's my idea of heaven! Oh, to have no worries - no meals to cook, no dishes to wash, no homework to be helped with - and just read and read and.....

"Thud". That was the sound of me returning to earth! Oh well, I'm grateful for the life I have and the family and friends I have near and far...and as for books, well, I'll get there - one page at a time!

Little joys!

2009-03-03T22:12:00.000+05:30

One of the biggest advantages of volunteering as a teacher's helper in my son's class is that I've realised what a challenging (and sometimes thankless) job the teachers have. I mean, think about it; handling twenty kids, each of them one of a kind, each having a mind of his/her own (and speaking it!), some having 'off' days, others super-excited because of something..... And on rainy days, being cooped up in a classroom with all twenty of them for three hours at a stretch! Some days, I'm ready to tear my hair out and I'm only handling a few of them at a time, a couple of days a week! Needless to say, I'm all for teachers' salaries to be doubled, even tripled the current amount!!

Well, anyway, so that's the 'big' advantage. But there are a few little 'perks' that come from being with the kids over a period of time, getting to know them and earning their trust.

Like the time when this little girl, who's usually very shy and quiet, came up to me while all her friends were at recess. She speaks very softly so I had to lean close to hear her confide in me, "Mrs. K, I learnt how to tie my shoe-laces! My brother taught me how to. Look!" I was moved to tears that this little girl shared such an important achievement of hers with me! I congratulated her and she ran away to join her friends even before I could hug her.

And then, a few days back a new kid joined my son's class. He is very intelligent and articulate but had some initial adjustment problems. When I tried to get him to do something, he'd push my hand away saying, "Don't touch me." So imagine my surprise when he tapped me on my back the other day and when I turned around, pointed to his mouth and said, "I lost my tooth yesterday". "Wow!", I said, "So how did it fall off?"
He coolly replied, "Well, my mom just used my dad's pliers to pull it off", and walked away, leaving me fumbling for a response to that!

Later I felt pretty nice that this boy had gone from pushing me away to volunteering information(!!).
Thank God for the little joys in life!

Refill Packs

2009-02-28T23:03:00.000+05:30

I ran out of Milo (chocolate-flavored health drink powder)for my son yesterday. So I went shopping for it. Now I happen to have a good collection of containers - jars, bottles, canisters in plastic and glass - of all shapes and sizes. I rarely throw away stuff like that and wash and reuse them once the original contents are finished. As a result, I have a whole set of baby formula tins, cute little jars of baby food, tall "dabbas" of Milo/Bournvita, small and medium Pearlpet jars etc.

When I was growing up, my mom used to do the same. Even soft-drink bottles used to be rinsed and used to fill water and keep in the refrigerator. And we bought refill packs of whatever we needed and filled the respective can/jar. And all this was years before we even heard of the word "recycling" or "ecological impact" or "non-degradable".

Since it is so ingrained in me, I have always bought refill packs of food or other necessities wherever possible. But this time, I couldn't find a single refill pack of Milo; not in the local Indian stores (I went to 3 of them), not the regular grocery store, nowhere. You had to buy the big jar with the stuff in it. Well, I've still not bought it, in the hope of scouring a few more shops before giving up.

Then I ran out of my regular household cleaner...the one that I spray the counter tops with. Did I mention that I've also managed to collect a fair number of spray bottles? So I was looking for an "economy pack" or a refill pack of the cleaning solution that would not only eliminate the need for yet another spray bottle which would eventually end up in a landfill but also be easy on my pocket since I could buy more cleaner instead of the spray bottle. But no!! Of all the available brands (and there were quite a few!), there was not a single one that had what I wanted. Take dishwashing liquid - same thing. So even if I do want to do my part for the environment, I really can't. And the sad part is, it is so simple! In this land of options of every kind, why don't we have the option to buy stuff that doesn't come in fancy plastic bottles every time?

I don't know if I'm over-reacting but I find it strange that in a country as eco-aware as the US no-one has thought of such a simple solution to the burgeoning trash problem. Especially since it has been around in countries like India for decades and it makes so much sense - in every way.

Fasts, anyone?

2009-02-25T23:33:00.000+05:30

It has been a while since I wrote here. I went to India and then didn't write as soon as I came back and somehow, I guess, once the momentum is lost, general inertia takes over and there is this reluctance to sit down and write. (Hey, that ended up sounding like a Newton's law of motion; "Loss of momentum equals inertia"!)

So while a lot of important events have gone by in the meantime, I've not been able to write about them - that infernal inertia at work again - and today I'm writing about something that's very mundane and even trivial to a lot of people.
I fasted.

Yes, that's right: I skipped two meals that would have comprised of cereals, vegetables, salt and seasonings. Of course I fortified myself with endless cups of tea (with milk and sugar), a handful of nuts, some fruit and a piece of a milk-based sweet!! And oh yeah, I had a regular dinner!! If that doesn't sound a lot like "fasting" to you, you are right - it wasn't!

But here's the thing: I felt real good about it. For not only was it the first time in years that I had attempted self-control of any degree with respect to food, but I didn't feel terrible at all. If anything, I felt lighter, more energetic and more cheerful - which I am not when I am hungry, normally!

I thought back about those days long ago when I was a young working girl and all around me were young working girls like me who, for various reasons(mostly religious), fasted on various days of the week or month or year. While I didn't believe in the religious significance of the fasts, I thought it was a good way to control my weight and so started fasting myself. To be clear, these were not "fasts" in the strict sense of the term. For we only skipped breakfast and lunch/dinner, always having either dinner or lunch. It was what was called "Ek-tanu" in Gujarati, meaning a "one-time fast" or a "one-time meal" whichever way you take it. At one point of time I fasted as many as 4 days a week - including Sundays, which was especially hard since that was the day that the hostel mess would be closed and we had the option of eating out! But then I had that much self-control in those days.

Lately, though, I had thrown self-control to the winds and gotten minorly addicted to sweets and salty snacks - all of which showed in the form of weight-gain and sluggishness and general ill-health. I tried to cut down on my sugar intake, restrict sweets totally etc. but nothing worked. And skipping meals is generally frowned upon these days so I made sure I didn't miss any, especially breakfast, which is supposed to be the most important meal of the day - the most "un-missable"!

Now here's the funny thing, when I do eat breakfast, no matter what I eat, how healthy or filling it is, I am always ravenous around lunchtime. On the other hand, if I skip breakfast, I feel a little hungry around mid-morning and then it tapers off; I don't feel the need for lunch, especially if I have a cup of tea.

So I tried it this time and it worked! I just had my tea in the morning and at lunchtime I breezed through with just another cuppa! And I was lighter on my feet and chirpier. I did not fall asleep while getting my son to do his homework! I did not say "Play by yourself" when he asked to play with me. We also had a little bit of dancing to "Dance pe chance"!! This along with cooking dinner, doing two loads of laundry, taking out the garbage, cleaning up etc. etc.

So whoever made the rule: "Do not skip breakfast (or any other meal)" didn't have me in mind.

Heck! Maybe I need to fast four-days-a-week again!!

Ghajini

2009-01-31T15:04:00.001+05:30

Finally saw the much-touted, much-hyped, much-admired Ghajini today. Hubby and I usually are very firmly against pirated DVDs and faithfully wait for the official, original DVD to be released so that we get good clean prints; this means waiting for weeks, even months before we get to see new Hindi movies. The general lag is about 4-6 months. So if a movie's been released today, you can expect me to have an opinion about it in 6 months' time surely!

We made an exception for Ghajini. Actually, we saw Rock On! just last weekend, after waiting for a long time to see the 'original' print. And what did we get, despite the long wait? A pirated copy! That did it; I decided that if I was going to watch a pirated, scratchy, ill-lit movie, I might at least watch it when the whole world and its uncle is watching it, not months later.

So finally we put kiddo to bed and settled down for Ghajini. We had been in India when the movie was released and saw firsthand the buzz and hype around the movie- Aamir Khan's physique, his haircut, the new heroine, the Guzaarish song, etc. And anyway we're both die-hard fans of AK so expectations were all more higher.

Alas, it was such a MAJOR letdown. If I Google "Ghajini Review", all I can find is adjectives like "fantastic", "mind blowing", "terrific" etc. etc. So at the risk of inviting the wrath of all those fans who LOVED the movie, here are my two cents. Actually they're just a lot of questions swirling around in my mind...

1) Of all the movies in the world, why, oh why, had Aamir Khan to choose this particular movie to remake? You want to remake something? Hmm, why not choose something sensitive, intelligent, like we've come to expect from you? Why this crude, violent, gory spectacle of a movie?

2)Who the hell picked Asin for the leading female role? That woman belongs to a 'nautanki'; that's how 'dramatic' her acting is. Everything is loud, artificial and oh-so-gratingly annoying. You want bubbly? You want sweet? Ever heard of Juhi Chawla?

3)How can anyone be as saccharine-sweet as "Kalpana" in the movie? Come on....get real.

4)The whole 15-min-memory theory seems improbable. Maybe it is a fact, but the way they've portrayed it in the movie, it doesn't seem very logical. To give just one example, towards the end of the movie, the med student, Sunita, is giving a ride to Sanjay Singhania to the villain's house. Surely that'd have taken more than 15 mins. So how come SS didn't forget what he was doing on her scooter midway through the ride? Did she explain the whole life story to him all over again every 15 minutes during that ride?

5)Sunita talks to the orphan girl at the orphanage about Kalpana and the girl tells her (in flashback) how Kalpana saved her life. But the flashback goes on to reveal conversations between Kalpana and SS. How did the girl know all that?

6)Who filled in the graphic details of how Kalpana was murdered?

7)What happened to the "Chaddi ka ad."? Asin never asks AK about his job, how he's doing as a model (since she was something of a mentor to him), his family etc. Basically even a basic curiosity is curiously absent.

8)While AK is dictating the "Chinchpokhli" address to his PA, how come Kalpana doesn't ask him who he's talking to?

9)Why do the executives of AK's firm, all four or five of them, go to Kalpana to plead with her for permission to put up a hoarding on the building that's not even hers? Isn't it very basic homework to find out who owns the building?

10)Why was the policeman, apparently of some stature, going about town without a vehicle of his own? Or even backup? Or a gun?

11)Why is this movie called "Ghajini"? Shouldn't it be "Ghazni"? Or if we go by the Hindi way it's written in the movie, "Gajni"? I hate wrong spellings...

12)And finally, once all of SS's clues were erased, what was the whole point in reminding SS of the whole process all over again? Just think about it, here's a guy who's gone through severe trauma but cannot remember much of it. Once he's even forgotten that he's supposed to take revenge, what was the need for Sunita to prod him again by telling him the whole story again, thereby causing him anguish and pain all over again? Wouldn't it have been best to have him start afresh on a clean slate and move on?

Oh, the questions...more will come, I'm sure....But the whole point is that I've never been so disappointed with Aamir Khan as with Ghajini. The guy who gave us Sarfarosh, Lagaan, Andaaz Apna Apna, Dil Chahta Hai, Rang De Basanti and Taare Zameen Par! He 'chose' the Tamil "Ghajini" to remake? Why?

But Aamir being Aamir, even in this disaster of a movie, he gave me reason to smile and swoon over his acting. No, I'm not talking about his growling, his agonised screaming or bashing up multiple guys singlehandedly. I'm talking about this one scene which will stay with me for a long time.

It's the scene where Sanjay Singhania proposes to Kalpana in the bus. The way he looks at her just before he says,"I love you" is simply, achingly sweet. It's one of the most romantic scenes I've seen in recent times. That one scene made sitting through the rest of the movie worth it!

Leave of Absence..

2008-12-13T22:17:00.000+05:30

This blog will be silent for a few weeks now. I'm a long-awaited yet unexpected trip to India. I'm super excited!! I hope to post something from there; if not, there will certainly be a lot to say once I am back.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all!!
See you next year!

Orbis Terrarum-Book 9-A Prisoner of Birth

2008-12-11T13:31:00.000+05:30

Jeffrey Archer has been an all-time favorite author of mine. I still remember the first time I picked up a book by him, Kane and Abel, and read through the night, non-stop! I consider it a classic. So when I heard of Archer's new book, A Prisoner of Birth, I read it as part of the Orbis Terrarum Reading Challenge.

A Prisoner of Birth is the story of Danny Cartwright, a simple, lower-middleclass young man who has dreams no grander than of marrying his childhood sweetheart and running a motor-repair garage. However, events that unfold over a single night change everything and Danny is accused of murder, tried, convicted and sentenced to prison. Danny's fiancee and his lawyer are among the very few who believe in his innocence but they are unable to do anything for him.

In prison, Danny befriends his cell-mates, one of whom is a Scottish aristocrat, Sir Nicholas Moncrief, who sees promise in Danny and teaches him to read and write and familiarises him with the ways of the wealthy. Coincidentally, Danny and Sir Nicholas (Nick) have an uncanny resemblance to each other and thus, when Nick dies, with the help of his other cell-mate, Al, Danny impersonates Nick and is released from prison soon after. Everyone thinks that Danny is the one who died.

Once out of prison, Danny takes over Nick's family's estate etc. and simultaneously finds ways to bring to justice the four socially prominent men who framed him for the murder that he was convicted for.

It is a narrative that's classic Jeffrey Archer. The good old 'good ultimately triumphing over evil' story that leaves you feeling warm and fuzzy.

With this book, I hereby finish the Orbis Terrarum Reading Challenge under which I read 9 books in 9 months - from April'08 to Dec'08, by 9 authors from 9 different countries. Here is the list of all the books read by me as part of this project.

1) The Little Prince - Antoine de Saint-Exupery - France
2) Talkative Man - R K Narayan - India
3) The Map of Love - Ahdaf Souief - Egypt
4) No Longer at Ease - Chinua Achebe - Nigeria
5) Brick Lane - Monica Ali - Bangladesh
6) Funny Boy - Shyam Selvadurai - Sri Lanka
7) The Runoff - Mark Coggins - USA
8) A Case of Exploding Mangoes - Mohammed Hanif - Pakistan
9) A Prisoner of Birth - Jeffrey Archer - UK

Orbis Terrarum-Book 8- A Case of Exploding Mangoes

2008-12-11T12:30:00.000+05:30

My eighth book for the Orbis Terrarum reading challenge was from Pakistan, A Case of Exploding Mangoes by Mohammed Hanif. It is a semi-fictional tale about the events leading to the assassination of Pakistani President Zia ul Haq.

Once again I'm going to take a short-cut here and point you to a wonderful review by Jai Arjun Singh. Here it is: Jabberwock/Case of Exploding Mangoes

Orbis Terrarum-Book 7-The Runoff

2008-12-11T10:51:00.000+05:30

A few months ago, I read about a particular area of San Francisco that we'd never been to but sounded very interesting. It is called 24th Street. We decided to visit the place one weekend. Why am I mentioning this in a post about the book challenge? Because 24th Street is where I discovered this wonderful little bookstore called the San Francisco Mystery Bookstore. It has new and used mystery books by various authors from all over the world. I found an autographed copy of "The Runoff" by Mark Coggins, a San Francisco native. I grabbed it and that's how it became Book No. 7 for my Orbis Terrarum reading challenge.

'The Runoff' is a mystery involving rigged elections, powerful Chinese-American San Francisco politicians and murders, all told in a very irreverent, witty and gripping first person narrative by detective August Riordan. The only problem in writing a review of the book is that it's been months since I read the book and the brain cells are kind of sluggish with respect to the details. Well, I can tell you that it was a thoroughly enjoyable novel, the protagonist somehow managing to elicit sympathy for his misfortunes as well as admiration for his guts!

So I'll do the next best thing. Here's a link to the book/author. (Interestingly, it also has a link to the Google map showing all the spots mentioned in the novel). Check it out. The Runoff

Good old Ragi Malt!

2008-12-06T13:31:00.000+05:30

Of the five senses that a human being is said to have, most of us consider sight, hearing and speech the most valuable. We wonder how we would get by if we were to lose one or all of them (ok, at least I do wonder, at times, when I'm feeling morbid). And then I remember the poor cousins, touch and smell. How many of us ever think what it would be like to have these two senses taken from us? (No, I don't know anyone who has lost these senses nor is this a post about 'feeling' disabilities.) I think the sense of smell is particularly important because I relate a lot of smells to memories. Even after years, I remember the smell of brand new school textbooks, of crisp new uniforms fresh from the tailor....and so many more.

One of my friends recently moved away and as they were taking only select items of the household to their new home, she gave away a lot of things to friends and neighbors. Since I was both, I too got my share of kitchen utensils, food items, books, toys etc. In one of the jars was a mysterious pinkish powder. Since my friend was in a hurry to finish packing she somehow forgot to mention its name. Curious, I opened the lid and took a sniff.....And two words floated into my head like a long-forgotten scrap of memory - Ragi Malt!

I was about seven years old. It was my very first visit to my paternal grandmother's house. We lived in a far-off state and so I had never been able to visit that side of my family, till now. Anyway, so here I was with my dad in a new city where, to my enormous surprise, my cousins didn't speak Hindi!

My aunts must have somehow sensed my discomfort that first day. After I had had my bath etc. they gently led me to an inner room right next to the kitchen. In one corner was an elaborate shrine with little idols and framed pictures of a myriad Gods, each one of them adorned with garlands of jasmine flowers. So this was the family shrine or temple. But that was not why they had brought me there. This room was not just a temple, it was also kind of a store-room or pantry.

My elder aunt pointed higher up the walls. Up there, about 2-3 feet below the ceiling was a wooden ledge running along two or three walls of the room. And on this ledge were cans and tins of all kinds of health drinks; Horlicks, Maltova, Bournvita, Viva, Boost and more... "Choose any of these for your drink, whichever you like", said my aunt. I was flabbergasted! I had never before seen such an array of drink powders except maybe in a shop! But even in this state of confusion, I caught an unfamiliar name - Ragi Malt. I guess my tendency to want to try new and different things was present from an early age, because I declared to my aunts that I wanted to have Ragi Malt! That I had no idea whatsoever what it tasted like didn't bother me much.

And was I glad I chose it!! The taste was so divine. Nothing like the other chocolaty drinks I had had before. This was.....different. After that I must have had Ragi Malt many more times whenever I visited Madras but somehow this first taste has stayed with me. I can't describe the taste even now because I don't think there is another taste like it.

So as the aroma of the mystery pink powder wafted into my nostrils, it was like numerous bells went off in my brain, waking up a lot of tiny voices chanting, "Ragi Malt, Ragi Malt..."

And I give thanks to my sense of smell!

Mumbaihelps

2008-12-05T11:24:00.001+05:30

Came across this website/blog today. I think it's wonderful. I'm posting it here to spread the word.

http://www.mumbaihelps.blogspot.com/

And from this one, I got one more...kbpm Very interesting..

Read...

What does one say?

2008-12-03T10:55:00.000+05:30

So much has happened in the last one week. Mumbai was attacked by terrorists. We sat glued to our televisions feeling a lot of things...shock, fear, humiliation, anger, disgust, disbelief, grief, faith, prayers.... I wanted to voice all of them but could not. What could I say that was not already being said? So instead of writing, I read and read.....lots of news articles and even more blogs. People pouring out from the depths of their hearts - their anguish at the horrible deaths of innocents, their praise and adulation for the rescuers, their utter contempt for the politicians.

I felt as if I had my finger on the pulse of the country as I read these numerous write-ups. Usha, Kavi, Ashok, Suranga, we are like this only, Lekhni, Vivek, One True Thing, HiphopGmom, Ulaar, Juxtaposition, Snippets and so many many more expressed their feelings and mirrored those of millions of others. It was heartening to see that it was no longer the "Chalta Hai" attitude and that people cared.

My own two cents on the issue is not so much about the attack itself - which are the same as everyone else's, that it was a terrible terrible thing to happen - but about the media circus accompanying it. We didn't get to see a whole lot of Indian TV channels, just CNN for most part. But we went to the Indian Grocery store and saw Sahara Samay or some other Hindi TV Channel in which they were showing the ongoing happenings at the Taj hotel. I stared at the screen in disbelief and horror at first, but in a couple of minutes the news anchor's voice became so grating to my ears that I wanted to scream. He was mouthing such ridiculous 'filmi' lines like, "Hotel ko chaaron taraf se gher liya gaya hai", "Aatankvadiyon ke chhakke chudane ke liye...", "bachke nikalna namumkin hai..." and more such nonsense. The anchor also kept on repeating his "punch" lines 3 times in a row like in a Hindi TV serial. It was irritating and annoying to say the least - was he reporting on an unfolding tragedy or acting out a part in a Bollywood blockbuster?

And then there were the numerous "correspondents" - boys and girls, really - who seemed to have been dispatched hurriedly to the site just to have their TV channels' presence in the area. How many of those had anything really new or relevant to "report"? Special mention must be made of this frantic young man who actually ran this way and that pointing in various directions, apparently trying to tell us something about shots/terrorists/blasts, but making absolutely no sense with his high-pitched, panic-stricken babble.

I know that the gaffes that the media and media persons committed are far less serious than the terrorists and the politicians and that I've chosen the (probably) least guilty party to bash. But I was upset about the way they sensationalised the whole incident.

And, after all, no amount of words could ever convey how I feel about the actual perpetrators of this crime.

However, another thing that filled me with sadness was that some people I know gave in to angry, retaliatory statements against a particular community. That educated, 'modern' and otherwise sensible individuals could be filled with so much rage against a whole group of people due to the evil deeds of a few of them was really depressing.

Let's hope that not only do we not forget the dead, the injured, the survivors but also remember to use our heads and hearts so as to not spread the poison of hate.

Ishwar Allah tere naam, sabko sanmati de Bhagwan

Jigsaw Puzzle

2008-11-10T23:01:00.000+05:30

I've always loved jigsaw puzzles. The more complicated, the better. My son also loves them and we have some wonderful times putting them together.

However, a while back, my husband surprised me with the gift of a jigsaw puzzle!! All for myself!!! And that too a 1000-piece one!! I was so thrilled with it that I got down to it in all earnestness, thinking I was going to crack it in a matter of hours. Ha! Little did I know how difficult it was to put together the one thousand tiny little pieces, most of which looked totally alike! After all,
this was my first ever large-scale jigsaw.

Anyway, happy to say that I did manage to finish it, ultimately! It took me a good 3 days of working on it---off and on. Here're some pictures to show the progress.

History

2008-11-05T23:58:00.000+05:30

It is not often that you are present in the time and place where history is being made. Yesterday I got that distinct feeling as I watched the US presidential elections unfold, state by state, seat by seat..... as Barack Obama became the first black American to become president of the United States of America.

There will be reams of paper and online space devoted to writing about Obama and his past and his future and everything else, as it has been in the past few months. That is not my intention here...but as I watched him make his very impressive acceptance speech in Chicago last night, I was reminded of four years back.

Back in November 2004, during one of the the post-election discussions, someone mentioned, "a new dynamic young senator from Illinois, Barack Obama..." and they had a short phone interview with him. I was first struck by the name...Obama? What kind of name was that? And it sounded so eerily like the public enemy no.1! But once I started listening to him speak, I must say I was impressed by his intelligence, his confidence, not to mention his relative youth! And to think that that little-heard-of senator is today the American president!! Wow!!

What is the moral of this story?

2008-11-03T10:40:00.000+05:30

Choosing books to read to my son at bedtime is a task that I take seriously. No kidding!! I don't buy a lot of books but we have a wonderful library system in our area which I utilise to the full extent. I ask friends for recommendations, religiously note down the names of books/authors suggested by schoolteachers and then scour the library to find them. If I can't find them, I make use of the "hold" system, wherein even if the book is not carried by my local library, if any other library within our county has it, I can "order" it or place it on "hold" till it becomes available to me. Anyway, to come to the point, I want each book that I read at bedtime to be satisfying to both me and my son. So, it shouldn't have too many words, preferably be funny........both criteria decided by my son, and it should be sweet and should teach him something, just some tiny little pearl of wisdom that he can carry to bed with him.

So imagine my surprise when I read him Jack and the Beanstalk and found it impossible to appreciate, considering that it is somewhat of a 'Classic'!
I'm sure most of you know the story but here's the gist:

There's this boy Jack whose family is very poor and who gets some magic beans from a stranger. He plants the seeds in his yard and soon an enormous beanstalk grows out of the seeds. It is so huge that it extends up to the sky.
One day Jack climbs up the beanstalk all the way to the top and finds that a giant lives there with his wife. Jack is let in by the wife who's fearful of her giant of a husband, but she still gives him something to eat and hides him so that the wicked (supposedly) giant cannot see him. Jack sees that the giant has a hen who lays golden eggs. He promptly steals the hen and climbs down the beanstalk to his home where, thanks to the golden eggs,they're rich and now they all "live happily ever after". However, Jack climbs the beanstalk one more time, the giant's wife once more lets him in, and this time he steals the giant's golden harp! When he tries to run back home, the giant gives chase and starts to climb down the beanstalk after Jack. So Jack races down and gets an axe and cuts down the beanstalk...and the giant comes crashing down to his death.... And now Jack finally lives "happily ever after".....

Is it just me or did anyone else notice that this story is just the opposite of what we should be teaching our kids?

The giant's wife seems to be a kind woman, who lets the boy in, feeds him, gives him shelter; What does Jack do in return? He steals from her husband!
Not to be content with riches, the greedy boy once again goes to the giant's house, once again takes advantage of his wife's hospitality, and steals another precious item from the giant! And when the giant, rightfully, tries to retrieve it, Jack KILLS him!!

So explain to me what was the giant's fault in all this? And how is Jack the "hero" in this story when in reality he is the perpetrator of all the bad things that happened in this story?

Maybe there's some part of this story that justifies Jack's actions and I missed that...or there's some other version that clarifies the picture. But as far as I know, I have no idea how this ridiculous story came to be known as a children's' classic!

Quirky? Weird? Same thing?

2008-11-03T10:35:00.000+05:30

Hiphopgrandmom tagged me to do this "Quirky" Tag that requires me to "Reveal Six Quirks in my Nature". Now I am not sure whether it means the same thing, but last year I did a tag that asked me to describe a few "Weird" things about me. I guess for all practical purposes, quirky and weird can mean the same so here's that 'Weird' post from last year.

New v/s Old

2008-10-23T11:36:00.001+05:30

This Navratri was nice because I got to dance on 2 of the 9 nights. Much better than the 0 out of 9 of last year. Of course, nowhere as great as the 9 out of 9 of my college days where we stayed out all night dancing the night away...and ending up dozing during the morning lectures in college!

But anyway, this post is not about Navratri but about an unrelated topic that kind of took shape on one particular day of dancing the Garba. On this occasion, my friends and I danced for a while and then took breaks and watched the others play. It was a treat to see all the colorful costumes and beautifully decked up people. As I've mentioned before, I love to watch people and was observing the way different people behave. There was one couple, very obviously newly married (or engaged)...you could just tell by the way they were looking into each others' eyes and kept touching each other on the arm or shoulder lovingly. A few minutes of watching them, discreetly of course, and my friend commented, "Aah, the first couple years of marriage! The magic of that time is just something else, isn't it? How I wish we could go back to that time!"
And I wondered, "Do I?" Sure, the initial years of marriage are the most memorable..after all, it's a new experience, being married, having someone to love and someone to love you back, sharing your physical and emotional space with another person....Like someone said, "No matter where you live when you are newly married, it will always seem like paradise to you". Very true...

But then, with each passing year, while the novelty and excitement might fade a little, what grows is a better understanding of each other, a tolerance for faults, an appreciation for what really matters - inner qualities like kindness, decency, honesty, faithfulness etc.- that are not evident at first glance. Together, you make a home, a family , share your joys, weather small upsets and big upheavals and take comfort that no matter how dark the night is, there is a day at the end of it....And then start all over again....

So, no, I don't miss my "honeymoon" period. After a good 7 years of marriage, I realise that there is a lot to cherish in this relationship, a realisation that I didn't have in the beginning. Those early days were great, but if I had the option of "going back" to them or staying where I am, I'd stay put! I've come to the conclusion that I'd rather have the comfort of "knowing" my partner than the thrill of "getting to know him"!
What about you?

For a song

2008-10-11T02:52:00.001+05:30

Has it ever happened to you? A very ordinary day, very routine, mundane, regular day suddenly transformed by a song? It happened to me last week.

I had come upon this lovely 5 CD collection of songs composed by SD Burman in my local library, checked it out and brought it home. Then I forgot all about it until the other day when I randomly took out one of the CDs and inserted it in the player in my car. Till then, it had been an absolutely typical day; hurried morning, packing lunches, snacks, school-bag, making lunch, serving lunch, picking up kid, pleading with him to do his homework, making dinner....you get the drift? And then, in the evening, when I had to head to a store to get some things...that was when I played the CD and....

"Dil Ka Bhanwar Kare Pukar...Pyar Ka Raag Suno Re..." crooned Mohammad Rafi in that ultra-smooth velvety voice of his...And I was transported to this cool, wet, misty, foggy place with Dev Anand singing this song in that droopy, loopy style of his!! I don't know why, but that's the exact feeling I get every time I listen to this song. I'm sure I imagined it but I thought I could feel the cool breeze upon my skin! My entire mood underwent a major shift as I went from humdrum, ho-hum to humming this simple sweet ditty. I remembered seeing this song on Chitrahaar a long long time ago...It has Nutan and Dev Anand climbing down the spiral stairs of Qutab Minar while he declares his love for her via this song.

I decided to google the song and found this lovely video of it on YouTube:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ar0ZSl11VYk
It doesn't get any more romantic than this,does it?

Award.....(finally!)

2008-10-10T12:06:00.000+05:30

This post has been long overdue. Suranga honored me with this award last month. For a long time I couldn't figure out how to copy the Brillante Logo....(yes, call me a dinosaur....!) and hence the delay. Surangaji, thank you so much. I have no idea what made you choose me but nevertheless I'm thrilled to receive it.

See, over the past months, a lot of the blogs that I regularly read were receiving this award one after the other and though I wholeheartedly admit that they are waaaay better than me in terms of design and/or content, there was this little child in me who said, "I want an award too!!"

Jokes aside....this is what this is all about, in Suranga's own words:
"This award is for blogs whose content and/or design are brilliant as well as creative. The purpose of the prize is to promote as many blogs as possible in the blogosphere. Here are the rules :
1. When you receive the prize you must write a post showing it, together with the name of who has given it to you, and link them back
2. Choose a minimum of 7 blogs (or even more) that you find brilliant in their content or design.
3. Show their names and links and leave them a comment informing they were prized with ‘Brillante Weblog’
4. Show a picture of those who awarded you and those you give the prize (optional).
5. And then we pass it on!

Ok, so now comes the tough part, that of nominating other blogs to this award. Tough, not because it is hard to find blogs with great content and design but because most of the ones I read regularly have already received it. So I had to rack my brains and came up with this following list.

1) Walkamusing, whom I consider my mentor in the field of blogging. Though she hasn't written much in recent times, due to her other multi-talented activities, her writings are an absolute treat to read. And as I keep telling her, it's not fair for her not to write!!!
2) Agelessbonding. What can I say about her! She's truly ageless....her views, her sense of humour, her whole attitude is more youthful than someone decades younger to her and yet she combines that with amazing wisdom. The result is deadly!!
3)Hiphopgmom. We share a geographical link, as well as some distantly "relative" links....She writes with a lot of passion and sincerity and an innocence that touches the heart. Here's to G'mom from J'pot!
4)Lekhni. She's one of a kind. She's the kind to talk about an Indianised Italian recipe one day and rant against famous newspapers the other!! I especially loved the way she polled her readers!
5)Tales of South India: I consider her the queen of fiction! And I am still wondering why she is not publishing any of her superb short stories!

I know I am supposed to pass this award on to at least 7 bloggers, but fortunately or unfortunately, the others that I'd like to pass this on to have already got them. So I'll have to stop here...

Soumya Viswanathan

2008-10-02T21:22:00.000+05:30

I read about the murder of journalist Soumya Vishwanathan on Jabberwock's blog here. The details are here:

http://blackmuddyriver.blogspot.com/2008/10/plea-to-everyone.html

Everyone who reads this, please do whatever you can.

Birthday birthday!!

2008-10-01T22:52:00.000+05:30

So September just got over...One hectic month with lots of special, important days.

In the beginning of the month, my son started kindergarten. So he's "officially" a school-going kid now!!
We attended his first "Back-to-school" night where we enjoyed a book-fair, met his teachers, signed up for the PTA etc.
Then it was time for this blog to celebrate it's very first birthday!! On September 17th of last year, I started writing here and it's been a great one year since! Had some hiccups and gaps in between but on the whole, it's been good going (if I may say so myself). The best part, of course, being that I made lots of wonderful friends and acquaintances who would've stayed strangers to me if not for the world of blogging. Today I cannot let one day go by without reading the latest from my regular blog-list! And every other day, I discover another amazing new blog!! Love it, love it, love it!!
And of course, it was birthday time for yours truly!! Although it was nowhere near the "waiting-with-bated-breath-counting-down-the-days" kind of exciting as it used to be in the good old (young?!) days, it was still very special because of the little gifts from hubby and kiddo and long chats with other family members. And all those fantastic friends who took the time to write, call, buzz or scrap to wish me Happy Birthday! Thanks everyone!
One of the things I like about the school system here is that parents can volunteer their time to help out in their child's classroom. I figured there was no better time than my birthday. So starting last week, I volunteer in my son's class as the teacher's assistant twice a week. Liking it so far!
And as the icing on the cake, a sample article that I had sent to a writer's website was finally published! You can read it here... http://www.chillibreeze.com/articles/Independence-Day.asp

Like I said, it was a busy month...

Coincidence?

2008-09-24T21:20:00.000+05:30

Whoever said there are no coincidences in this world!!

Yesterday as I was checking my email, there was a soft "plop" sound to indicate I'd received an Instant Message. I replied without much thought because it was from a friend of mine, or so I thought! After the usual small talk, I realised that this was not my friend, though their first names were the same, S.

So, I told this lady that she had me confused with someone else, so thank you, bye bye...But she was like, hey, no, I know you...from childhood, we were from the same town.

Now I have a friend who has the same name as mine and who, I knew, was from the above town. I asked S for some more details and it turned out that yes, she was looking for that Raj! So I directed her to the correct Raj and hopefully, they've reconnected!

So, now as my friend Raj later said, "She could have chatted with any Raj, but it turned out to be a Raj who knows the Raj she wanted to know about."

How's that for coincidence???

Ladies First?

2008-09-22T22:42:00.000+05:30

All windows in our apartment open out to a street. Along the street there's a narrow path which the residents use for strolling, jogging, cycling etc. I often catch interesting glimpses of the goings on from my window.
One of the regular features is elderly Indian couples going for walks. We have a large Indian community in our apartment complex and so, there are many "grandparents" visiting from India at any given time.
Now the funny thing I noticed about these couples (most of them, not all) is that though they are taking a walk together, they're not really "together". The husband usually is a few steps ahead of the wife, both walking in their own little personal spaces. Forget holding hands (too mushy by Indian standards anyway), they are not even talking to each other. I don't know if the men even check back to see if their wives are with them or not?
It's not just the older generation. I've seen some younger men too, who stride ahead blissfully unaware that his wife, usually laden with grocery bags/baby/stroller, is lagging way behind. I wonder what's the big hurry? Isn't it rude to walk off when someone is coming along with you? Would you do that to a friend? A colleague? I don't think so ! Then how can you do that to your life-partner?
I remember a European friend of mine commenting on this once. She was astonished to see that when an Indian couple in our neighborhood was coming back from the laundry, the husband was empty-handed, walking way ahead of his wife while she staggered behind with a basketful of washed clothes. My friend was amazed at the insensitivity of the guy and asked me if all Indian men were like that. I, of course, was surprised at the observation because honestly, if I had seen something like that it probably wouldn't even have struck me as unusual because it is pretty common in India. But nevertheless, there are chivalrous, polite, considerate men everywhere, even India and I told her as much.
But really, after seeing umpteen examples of the above I do wonder if phrases like "Ladies First" are just that...phrases!!

Teachers' Day

2008-09-05T21:31:00.001+05:30

It's been a long time since I wished anyone "Happy Teachers' Day" but the fact is that I do remember my teachers on this special day, every year. Especially my favorite ones, the ones I'll never ever forget.

Ms.Feroza Kothari: My very first teacher, when I was in LKG, or Jr.KG as it is known today. I remember she used to wear lipstick and one inspired day I insisted on wearing it to school. My mom never wore lipstick and I don't know from where I found any but there I was, with colored lips, in front of Feroza Teacher. My mom apologised to her (it was obviously against the rules) and explained that I couldn't be dissuaded. So Feroza teacher gently took me aside and said, "Look, if you want to wear lipstick because I do, then consider the fact that I am a grown up. You are only 4. If you want to wear lipstick, all you have to do is wait till you are as old as me, ok?" Somehow, her words worked like magic and I went to the restroom to wash the offending color off!

Ms.Sheela Vaidya: She came from a family of teachers. Her mother and sister were both teachers in our school. Her mother, Mrs. Vaidya, was especially known and feared for her stern demeanor and corporal punishments. But Sheela teacher, oh, she was something else! She was intelligent, patient, gentle and heart-breakingly beautiful. Tall and willowy, she looked like a dream in her pastel sarees and rice-pearl necklace that she would twirl around her fingers while teaching. It's been so many years but it's all so crystal-clear in my mind. She was our Maths teacher in Std. 5 all the way to Std.7. We girls used to fight over who would give little gifts of flowers (plucked from our home gardens) to her. She was everyone's favorite. So much so that when she quit her job to get married, we all begged her not to leave. And actually protested when the new Maths teacher came to teach us. I feel sorry for the new teacher now, but there was just no way she could compare favorably with Sheela teacher.
P.S.: I came to know only recently that Sheela teacher was highly popular among the boys too! Wink Wink!

Mrs.Gowri Ramanath: Our physics teacher in Std.11th. I never thought physics could be so interesting as she made it! She was small, but like a tiny bundle of energy, always bouncy and chirpy. She told me, we're teacher-student inside the school, but outside, we're friends!! Gowri teacher, I still treasure that friendship!

Mrs.Visalam Vivekanand: Our Biology teacher in Std.9th. Calm, graceful, knowledgable, encouraging...she was all that and more. She knew how to make the most complex things so simple that we could understand and remember it for ever. One thing I remember about her very well is her telling the class to observe how I used every minute of my time to do something useful. I think of that these days all the more because she'd surely change her mind about that if she saw how I lazed around and wasted precious time doing nothing.

Even though I may not mention all the other teachers who have touched my life, I do remember them....almost everyday, sometimes. I wonder where they are and what they are doing now. And whether they remember me? I would like nothing better than to get in touch with them and tell them that they made a difference in my life.

But since I can't do that, for now, I pay my tributes via this post.

Thank you, my teachers. You will always be in my heart.

Indoor Rainbow

2008-09-04T10:17:00.000+05:30

I was in the bathroom this afternoon when my son started knocking on the door most urgently. "Mommy come quick!! There's something I want to show you!" he yelled. I came out impatiently, ready to tick him off for hurrying me from my business but then I heard what he was saying.

"There's a RAINBOW in the living room!!", he said, with all the bright-eyed excitement that we adults somehow lose when we grow up. I was intrigued and followed him to the said room. He pointed to the ceiling where there was this glittering patch of multi-colored light created by sunlight falling on some shiny surface outside in the patio. It was beautiful!! I love to see rainbows in the sky and go childishly crazy when I see one after it rains. Just think, I told myself, you would've completely missed this lovely little rainbow on the ceiling if not for Rohan's delightful little heart!!
It is true..even if I had spotted this colorful band, I would've probably not given it another look. It was the child's unadulterated joy and way of looking at the world that made me look at it that way too...Truly, beauty does lie in the eye of the beholder!

Dilemma

2008-09-03T21:55:00.001+05:30

A routine visit to the park became something more interesting the other day. Last week we happened to visit a town where we used to live a few years ago. On a whim we decided to take our son to the very same neighborhood park where we used to take him everyday when he was a toddler.

As we walked to the children's play area, I saw a woman, maybe in her late 40s or early 50s, dressed in a yellow salwar-kameez with her dupatta wrapped around her head, sitting alone on a bench. Hubby started playing with kiddo and I sat down on another bench a little way off.

Then this lady turned towards me and asked in Hindi, "Are you Indian?" I said yes and she started chatting. I walked over to her and we talked for a long time. Well, mostly it was she doing the talking I nodding and mumbling some appropriate response. Usually it's rare that I am at a loss for words, but that day, somehow I didn't know what to say. Here was a complete stranger, a much older woman, asking me for advice, out of the blue!!

This lady was from a small village in Pakistan, visiting her son's family in the US. She was basically very lonely here and just wanted someone to talk to. She said that she came to this park everyday and sought out Indians/Pakistanis and talk to them. Today I was the only Indian in sight. She told me all about her family, her children and grandchildren, her life in Pakistan etc. She had 4 sons, out of which only one remained in the hometown; all others were in different countries abroad. The son in USA has sponsored her for a Green Card and she was here as a permanent resident now.

She told me that back in her village, women could not go out of the house. Even if they did, they had to wear the burkha. She marvelled that here she could get out of the house and walk wherever she wanted. I told her she was so lucky that she could experience all this...that her son and daughter-in-law loved her so much.... But the poor lady burst into tears at this, saying she missed her daughters who were back in Pakistan, unmarried, "still in Jail while I am free here." I was a little taken aback but tried to comfort her saying she could always visit them and then come back here. Now this is when it got really confusing for me.

She started saying that she hated it here because she was so lonely. "Nobody talks to anybody here. People don't go to each others houses. Even kids don't enter their friends' houses. How do people live like this?" she asked. She said all her relatives told her she was lucky but she didn't think so because her sons were all so far away from her. She asked me, "You tell me, what should I do? I'm telling my sons to come back to Pakistan and run their uncle's sweet shop. They can make money there too." I managed to say something like, "Your sons have a good life here, they are happy here, isn't that important? You can stay here for part of the year and spend the rest in Pakistan. Get your daughters also married to guys who live in the US or UK if you feel that they are "Jailed" there so that they can also experience freedom." I don't know how much sense I made to her, if at all. Maybe the lady just wanted to vent her feelings..if so, I hope I helped. But I was thinking about her for a long time.

I could understand her loneliness in a new place, where there were very few people who looked like her, dressed like her, talked her language, not to mention who have the time to care. I could also understand her guilt at enjoying "freedom" while her daughters couldn't step out of the house, and her worry about getting them married.

But then, from the sons' point of view, how fair was it for the mother to emotionally blackmail them to come back to Pakistan? I don't know what kind of job they have here but assuming it is a technology job, would they be happy running a sweet shop in a village? It's not just about money, it's also about doing what you like, living the way you want to.

In end of it all, I myself ended up all jumbled up... wondering if I was ever in such a position, what would I do?

How Low Can You Go?

2008-08-19T13:30:00.000+05:30

Last week I put up some used items on sale on the local classified service on craigslist. Since they were used and my main objective was to get rid of stuff that we're not using anymore, without dumping it in a landfill, I charged only nominally for them.

One of the items was a scooter that my son had hardly used but was still in good condition. I asked for $10 for it, less than 1/3rd of the original price. Then I sat back and waited for the response. There were a few but here I'd like to specifically mention one lady, Indian (safe to assume from the name) who wrote to me asking if she could have it for $7? My first reaction was, "What? You are bargaining for an item that's already dirt-cheap?" But of course, I didn't express any such thing to her. I was in a hurry and so told her "Fine, come and get it for $7. It's ok by me."

So imagine my consternation that she writes back to me saying, "Ok, but can I have it for $5 now?"

I mean, really, you've got to be kidding me!!

Orbis Terrarum - Book 6 - Funny Boy

2008-08-19T12:25:00.000+05:30

Funny Boy by Sri Lanka-born author Shyam Selvadurai was a breeze to go through. It was absolutely un-put-downable because of the sheer simplicity of language, the gripping narrative and interesting plot. I finished this book in as short as 3 days (which is quite fast by my current standards!)

The book is narrated in first person by the protagonist - the "funny boy" himself - Arjun Chelvarathnam, who grows from a little 7 year-old to a young teenager during the course of the book.

Arjun, or Arjie as he's fondly known, is part of a upper-middle class Tamil Christian family in Colombo, Sri Lanka with a large extended family. He loves playing with girls, with dolls and doesn't play cricket like the other boys. This raises eyebrows in the family. His authoritarian father is worried that Arjie will turn out queer and wants him to act more "male" much to the confusion of the young boy who has no idea what his father is so afraid of.

By keenly observing the adults and his surroundings, and a lot of eavesdropping, Arjie picks up on things that other kids don't seem to notice. The changing political climate, the delicate interpersonal relationships etc. Recent Sri Lankan history and politics are described through the eyes of the young boy. The bewilderment, the sense of betrayal and the ultimate acceptance of the situation are dealt with very powerfully.

Through all this, Arjie also undergoes his own personal struggles as he realises he is gay and in love with a classmate. His strong feelings for Shehan conflict with the disgust he feels for this "unnatural" love.

The story could be semi-autobiographical, since the author himself is from Colombo, gay and emigrated to Canada after the riots in Colombo - like Arjie.

All in all, Funny Boy is a bittersweet story of self-discovery, communal hatred and family ties.

My Son's Story

2008-08-14T20:47:00.000+05:30

For almost a year now, this blog has been my place, my site for telling stories, voicing opinions and meeting lots of new people in the blogosphere. Last evening, however, my 5 year-old did something that made me relinquish this space to him this time. He told me a story! His very own, totally made up using his own imagination (and other sources!) the first time ever.

I know many kids who are very good story-tellers but mine wasn't interested in the spoken word. He'd love to have me read from books but never asked me to "tell" him a story like other kids. So last evening when I suggested that I tell him a story, I was pleasantly surprised when he agreed and not only actually sat through the whole "The Boy Who Cried Wolf" story but also asked questions. And even more when he offered to tell ME a story. I decided to humour him and therefore I got my first taste of his story-telling skills.

So here is Rohan's Story, more or less, in his own words.
"Once upon a time there was a little boy called Babu. One day he went up the mountain to have a picnic. After a while The Big Bad Wolf came there! And he started eating up all Babu's food - the carrots and the broccolis. So, Babu got out a big stick and chased the Big Bad Wolf away!"

I'm sure he was wondering at the ear-to-ear proud mama grin that I was sporting at the end of the story!

Orbis Terrarum - Book 5 - Brick Lane

2008-08-08T13:40:00.000+05:30

"Brick Lane" by Bangladesh-born author Monica Ali was in the news recently owing to protests in London during the filming of the movie based on the book. My curiosity was piqued and I decided to read it as part of the OT challenge.

The story revolves around Nazneen and Chanu, a Bangladeshi couple who live in London's Bangladeshi neighborhood, of which "Brick Lane" is the main thoroughfare. Chanu is a learned university-educated man with dreams of living a sophisticated academic life in Britain. He marries Nazneen, a simple young girl from rural Bangladesh and brings her to live with him. He is not very good-looking and has many quirks that Nazneen finds hard to adjust to. But she tries and succeeds in building a home in the foreign country with support from her neighbors and friends in her apartment building. Another source of sustenance is her sister Hasina, whose story unfolds through the letters she writes to Nazneen from Bangladesh. Nazneen steadfastly keeps on going despite the loss of a child, distressing news from Hasina, and Chanu's disappointment.

Her simple, mundane life undergoes an upheaval when she meets Karim, a much younger man and starts an affair with him. Meanwhile, Chanu, totally disillusioned by his adopted country, makes plans to return to Bangladesh for good but Nazneen and her daughters don't want to go.

The story ends with a satisfactory conclusion that leaves us feeling happy for Nazneen that she finally followed her heart and did what she wanted. The icing on the cake is the last scene where Nazneen's teenage daughters give her the best gift of her life, her ultimate dream!

After reading the book, I couldn't understand what was in there to protest about. Apparently, the protesters in London were not even aware that what they thought was in the book, was not.

Nazneen's struggle to raise her daughters while being sandwiched between her husband's traditional views and her daughters' confusion and rebellion is touching. There is an intimate portrayal of life in the apartment complex where Nazneen lives. The fact that hundreds of people live their lives so far removed from the rest of the city, though geographically so close is amazing. The harsh truths of Hasina's life as a single woman in Bangladesh were horrifying, yet I marvelled at her courage and resourcefulness. I got annoyed and angry at Chanu for being the self-absorbed snob with his intense dislike for "the ignorant types" but also felt his simplicity and devotion to his family especially after Nazneen's nervous breakdown. Ultimately I ended up sympathising with the guy.

All in all, Brick Lane is a fast, easy read that also leaves an impression on your mind.

My Ahmedabad

2008-07-28T21:24:00.000+05:30

I've been following the news of the bomb blasts in Bangalore and Ahmedabad with a sinking, heavy feeling in my stomach. It shocks me and shakes me up to hear of such violence...and you know what is even worse? The fact that my life still goes on...such "news items" are soon relegated to the back of the mind in the melee of my day-to-day routine, in the mundane chores that have to be done and errands that have to be run. And when I do sit down to think about it, that's what hits me the hardest. The guilt...of being alive, safe, healthy, happy....while there are so many whose lives have changed for the worse, forever, for no fault of theirs. I don't think writing this post will help in assuaging that guilt or aid the victims in any way but this is what I feel like doing. I want to talk about Ahmedabad.

I grew up in a small town in coastal Gujarat where there was only one English medium school and no English medium colleges. So after school, all kids who wanted to study in an English medium college had to move out and go to "big cities", usually Ahmedabad, Baroda or Vallabh Vidyanagar. I opted for Ahmedabad. I am so glad that I did. Those three years of college were the best of my life. People usually talk of their school days as the "Golden Days" but for me it was these college days. I loved everything about Ahmedabad. It was the first "big city" that I had lived in. I loved my college, my hostel, my friends, the independence, the responsibilities that came with the independence...

You know that saying about Gujarat that "It is a place where a young woman, bedecked in jewellery could walk down the street alone at night and not be harmed"? It was so true. Literally. During the Navratri, we used to go to our college grounds where hundreds of young boys and girls danced the raas-garba/dandiya at night. We girls used to dress up in chaniya cholis , works of art themselves, with beautiful "mirror-work" embroidery. Those were the days of chunky "oxidised" jewellery and we made the most of it! So we would walk the 15-20 minute walk from hostel to college after 8 pm at night. And back to the hostel around midnight! Sure, it was a safe residential neighborhood but still, how many other cities can you imagine such a thing happening? I remember, a friend's friend who was visiting from Bihar was stunned at the number of unchaperoned girls out, dressed to kill, dancing away till the wee hours, totally carefree and happy and said, "If this had been Bihar, goons would have come and carried away all the girls in truckloads!" That was how great it was to be a young woman in Ahmedabad.

The people were sweet, helpful. If you asked someone for directions, they would not only point out the way but even accompany you there sometimes. My friends and I loved shopping at "Rani-no-Hajiro", an enclave of expert weavers and block-printers who made the most beautiful printed cotton salwar-kurta materials I've ever seen. They lived and worked in small, narrow, low-roofed rooms where you had to sit on cotton mattresses, gadlas, while they spread out their wares for you. Sheet after sheet of soft cotton, colored the most earthy browns and iridiscent blues and bright magentas. All at a fraction of the price one would pay for them in an "ethnic boutique".

During Uttran, (Makar Sankranti) kite-enthusiasts would buy hundreds of kites in one go from the kite-makers, most of whom were Muslims. It was so typically "unity in diversity" Indian! Muslims making kites for a Hindu festival!(though there was no religious bar to the Kite-madness!)
Then Godhra happened.

The riots that followed left me shell-shocked. I had left Ahmedabad long ago but still had friends there. One of my best friends there is Muslim and she sent me a terse SMS during those harrowing days - "Ahmedabad has gone to the dogs." It sent shivers down my spine. She in one of the most modern, broad-minded people I know and she and her family lived in the "non-Muslim" part of town. I never got details of what happened but I can only imagine.

And now this....series of blasts in the old-town, "Muslim" part of Ahmedabad. I don't care who it is or what they want. This is not the way!! It's just people murdering other people! How is that ever justifiable? I see the picture of young Yash, and so many other innocents caught in this horrible "war". Will that child ever understand why something like this happened? How will his widowed mother explain it him, ever? How many more discontented rebels does each incident like this create?
Lots of questions....

I know that no matter where such terrorist atrocities occur, they are reprehensible but somehow when they hit my beloved Amdavad, it really hurts. You know that thing that psychologists say about thinking of a place where you've been happiest, whenever you are sad or depressed. It's called the "Happy Place" and thinking about such a place calms you down and takes your mind off your troubles.
Ahmedabad was my Happy Place. What have they done to it?!

Orbis Terrarum - Book 4 - No Longer At Ease

2008-07-26T08:08:00.000+05:30

When I had asked for recommendations for my reading challenge, two Nigerian authors had been suggested to me, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie and Chinua Achebe. Originally I had planned to read Adichie's "Half of a Yellow Sun" but, browsing through books at the library I came across "No Longer At Ease" by Achebe and decided to read that for my challenge.

The story is about Obi Okonkwo, a Nigerian from the village of Umuofia who goes to England for studies and comes back to work in Lagos, Nigeria in the late 1950s. After 4 years of living and studying in a Western country, he discovers that his way of thinking has little resemblance to that of most of his countrymen/townspeople. At work, he is hard-working and honest, averse to corrupt practices like bribery. In his personal life, he is modern, doesn't believe in age-old superstitions and discriminations and struggles to maintain a balance between his love-life and his respect for his family. He consistently tries to do the right thing but is ultimately overcome by circumstances and conditions around him.

It was a tragic story but surprisingly written in a light, even humorous style. It gives us a peek into the lives of the local people, their language and customs. It very sensitively sketches the difference between Obi and his own family members owing to his education. It also describes how the British rulers treated the native Nigerians with contempt and mistrust.

I would have loved to know what happens to Obi eventually, since the story ends a little abruptly. I realised, belatedly, that this book was a sequel to "Things Fall Apart". If I had done my research better, I'd have read that book first..but anyway.

Happy Birthday---with a difference!

2008-07-21T12:10:00.000+05:30

All of us have been to those kiddie birthday parties where the one person who's so NOT having fun is the birthday girl/boy her/himself. The parents spend a lot of money, time and effort, looking for the perfect spot, a restaurant or party hall, arranging for the food (catered or home-cooked), decorations, return gifts for the kids etc. They get their child this spanking new outfit thinking he/she has to look like a prince/princess on his special day.

But in most cases, I have seen the child having a most miserable time because of the following reasons.
1) The place is scarily full of grownups! And there are so many of them!
2) That 'Princess' dress is awfully uncomfortable and prickly. Why can't I just wear my cotton tee and shorts?
3)Why do I have to stand in one place and say "Cheese" for the photographer uncle over and over again?
4) Why can't I just run around and PLAY?

It is really sad that though we are supposed to be celebrating/commemorating the birth of the child, we are doing anything but that in such parties. The guests come in, wish the child (accompanied by the annoying cheek-pinching), deposit the gift on the gift table, find other "guest-friends" and settle down to chat and gossip. The men form groups and start discussing their work, the economy, cars etc. The parents intersperse their conversations with shouts of "Stop, Sonu, stop running!", "No, don't touch that", or "No, no, no climbing on the table"....and a myriad other no-nos!

I totally understand the parents' position. It is so difficult to find a place to have a party these days. Apartments are not big enough to accommodate all your friends and family and the child's friends and family... Restaurants charge atrociously for catering and party hall space....It is stressful.

So when we had a party for our then 2 year-old, we had it in a park. The children had the playground to keep them occupied, it was open, airy and fresh... Of course, getting the food catered and reserving the park space in peak summer was another story altogether! But then this post is not about that party.

Last weekend we attended another birthday party with a difference. It was thrown by our friends for their 2 year-old daughter in a farm. The farm is nestled in the mountains and had lots of fun things to do. There was a small picnic area, a play structure, bouncing castles, pony rides, a train ride, bikes and trikes and scooters to ride, a petting zoo where you could feed the animals. In short, Paradise for the kids, the birthday girl as well as the invited kids. They got unlimited rides on everything, no parents screaming at them to be careful and best of all, lots of room to run around! The adults could relax and converse. Of course, the standard things like food and cake and gifts were there...
So all in all, a really "Happy Birthday"!!

I just wish such parties were the norm rather than the exception.

Disclaimer: This post is not meant to be disrespectful or judgemental towards anybody. I myself have contemplated having the sort of party that I have criticized in this post, and no matter what kind of party you have, I acknowledge that it takes a lot of effort on the part of the parents.

Bollywood Dance on TV, in USA!

2008-07-14T11:57:00.000+05:30

I usually don't watch reality shows. I just don't like the idea of spending my time looking at people doing stuff; however, I've noticed that once you start watching one show, it is sort of addictive. Case in point, American Idol, which both hubby and I watched from start to finish this year. After that I went off reality/talent/dance/music/adventure shows again. Hubby would tune in to "So You Think You Can Dance?" once in a while and I'd grace it with maybe two minutes of my time!

To be very honest, I feel like a country bumpkin when I watch Western dancing. Growing up in small-town India, I never knew any dance other than our classical dances, our regional folk dances and the ubiquitous Filmy dance. When I was in school, I learned a little bit of Bharatanatyam and would perform at the school annual function. When I went to college in a bigger city, I learnt Kuchipudi for some years. And of course, I never missed a chance to dance to a filmy song. Even when I try to dance to western music I invariably end up doing the most typical "Indian" moves. I used to feel a bit embarrassed earlier but now don't give a heck to what people say as long as I know I'm dancing well.

I know that there is whole big world of dance out there that is not Indian but is beautiful, graceful, intricate, brilliant....in short, everything that an art form should be..It's just that, I just don't "get" it!! Take the above show, e.g. I can't understand why in some of the dances, the women wear the bare minimum of clothes while the men are covered from neck to toe!! How can one even be comfortable in such skimpy outfits, let alone dance freely? Maybe that's the way they're supposed to dress, but it makes me squirm just watching them. And then some numbers are supposed to be good if they are "ugly, disgusting, nasty, mean" etc.!! Really, one of the judges said she loved one particular "gangsta" dance because it was all of the above! Huh!?? And here I am, thinking that dance is all about grace and love and melody and rhythm.

Of course there are many beautiful dances which even someone like me can appreciate. The choreography is lovely, the footwork and flexibility of the dancers fantastic. Some of the dancers have to be seen to be believed, they're so good.

Anyway, so last week, hubby was watching SYTYCD and called me to come watch with him. I made some busy noises and avoided it for a while but then started watching it. Usually, there's a specific style that's picked for each couple to dance. This time it was a lottery. Towards the end of the show, my ears perked up when I heard "Bollywood". One couple, Katee and Joshua picked "Bollywood Dancing" out of the hat and poor guys, they had no clue whatsoever what that meant. But they were trained by Nakul Dev Mahajan, an LA dancer who conducts classes in "Bollywood Dancing". We were shown clips of how the dancers got the gist of the song and the hand mudras etc. Hubby and I wondered how they were going to manage it, which song they'd dance to and we hoped they didn't make a mess of the whole thing and give Bollywood a bad name.(I know there isn't much left to the Bollywood name anyway, but then, you know, we wanted to feel proud.)

We shouldn't have worried a bit. Check this out!! The song was "Dhoom Tana" from Om Shanti Om, which itself being a parody, is as Bollywood as it gets. As the song started, the audience reacted so enthusiastically to the foot tapping music, it was clear that though they didn't understand a word of it, they were LOOOVING IT! The dancers were amazing! They got all the moves right, even the hard ones. It was one energetic dance! I would've liked a little more grace in the girl but she was so electric! The guy was mind blowing!! And the thunderous applause at the end was proof that it was a super-hit with the audience. The judges loved every part of it too. (Though it was funny that one of them referred to the dance as "Indian Cultural Dancing". Yeah Right!)

The whole reaction of the people to this dance reminded me of the time we attended our son's preschool dance performance. There were many schools performing, mostly to English or Spanish songs. However there was one group which danced on "Koi Kahe Kehta Rahe" from Dil Chahta Hai. I'm not sure how many people there understood the language either, but the way they clapped and cheered, we could see that it was the language of music that was speaking to them!

Moral of the story: No matter how much I turn my nose up at the Hindi film industry for being crass, crude unoriginal and commercial, times like these really bring out the Hindi-Picture-loving Indian in me!!

Crash!!

2008-07-08T12:48:00.000+05:30

3 am on a Friday night...Here I am, working at my computer/ chatting online with a friend in India/ updating my blog. All is quiet. Hubby and sonny breathing deeply in their sleep...

Then suddenly, a shrill squeal of brakes and then a series of loud, very loud crashing noises!!! Like a metal container being banged against concrete repeatedly!!
I rush to the window and peek out into the darkness. I see the street in front of our house....nothing right ahead but a little further down the street, there's a white sedan, completely upside down!! A shiver runs down my spine as I imagine someone trapped inside the vehicle. As in so many Hollywood movies, I expect the car to burst into flames any second!

But of course, nothing of the kind happens. I hear voices, people shouting, someone saying "Call 911". I wonder if I should call it when I hear the wail of the police siren. Within a minute or two, during the time it takes me to wake up hubby and get him to the window, the first police car has arrived. Very soon, a second one is at the scene, followed by two fire-trucks, another police van and an ambulance.

It becomes clear that whoever was in the upturned car is now out of it. So no-one trapped, at least it doesn't seem so. I see some young men and a couple of women hanging around the area. I assume they must have been in the car that is upside down and/or the other one involved. This other car is relatively undamaged. One girl is walking around clutching her head. Is that blood on her clothes? Too hard to tell from this distance. The policemen walk around with notepads in their hands, apparently taking notes, asking questions; one of them places orange cones on the street to divert oncoming traffic, which is thankfully very light owing to the lateness of the hour. There's this other officer who seems to be dragging a rod with something heavy and orange attached to the bottom of it all around the area. I don't know what he's doing. (In the days since, I've thought a lot, but still have no clue to what he was doing.) After a little while, first one and then the second fire-truck leaves. Then the ambulance leaves. Then one of the police cars. Anyway, so after about an hour, a tow truck comes and the driver starts attaching the crashed car to the truck.

I finally heed hubby's advice to move away from the window and try and go to sleep. The problem is that I can't sleep....I have never in my life seen such a terrible accident from such close quarters. I don't know what caused it, whether it was drunken driving or rash driving or speeding or an error of judgement, but I can almost taste the bitter fear in their mouths as the occupants of the car realise that their car is crashing and tumbling through the street!!

I silently send up a prayer for everyone involved in the crash and hug my family tight!!

Am I a Hindu?

2008-07-07T14:43:00.000+05:30

I recently came across this article in a magazine. I read it with interest because we at EpicIndia Group had been having debates on similar topics lately. Let me elaborate.

There is this magazine called India Currents for the Indian/Indian-American community in California, maybe all of US. It features, among other things, articles written by budding writers many of whom are young students. This particular article was called "Who is a Hindu?" and was written by Anand Venkatkrishnan, an Indian(/American) student from Stanford University. In it, he writes about his struggle to find answers to basic questions about his identity as a Hindu in the USA.

And coming to the 2nd sentence of this post; I have joined author Ashok Banker's online (Yahoo) group called the "Epic India Group" where we discuss Indian books, culture, history and more. On this forum for the past few days we had been talking about what "Dharma" is and how we can define it and live by it. I was mostly a silent, though admiring, observer because I had nothing much to contribute by way of knowledge about what Dharma is. I also read a series of articles called "Hindu, Who?" by a co-Epic Indian, Meenakshi Srinivasan.

I was amazed at the amount of thought and energy people put in this exercise and how their minds worked. There were such profound questions being asked about God, the meaning of our life and our ultimate goals and I wondered, "Why the hell don't such questions occur to me?" The only nagging, worrying questions I usually have are on the lines of "What shall I cook tonight for dinner?" or "Which company should I apply to next for a job?" or even "What shall I write on my blog?"

I want to understand our scriptures and our literature but I don't have a clue about where to start. I am religious in the sense that I believe in God. I believe that there is a supreme force/being/entity that controls things that are beyond our control. And that sometimes bargaining with him works! Really! Well, at least that's what I think....

But I am not into rituals at all. I don't say mantrams, shlokas regularly..don't even (and here I can see all my elders in my mind's eye shaking their heads, tut-tutting at my "bad" ways) light the prayer lamp every morning and evening.And when I go to the temple I'm more concerned about keeping an eye on my son so that he doesn't get lost than about praying. So does that make me a bad person? I don't think so. In fact I know many people who are very devout i.e. they spend a lot of time in temples and in front of their idols, doing pooja, having "kathas" etc. and yet turn around and do the meanest things to people around them. I try to be nice to everyone, help whenever I can, never knowingly be mean to anyone. I used to think that was good enough. I didn't have to spend my time doing pooja etc. After all what difference does it make, as long as you are good at heart?

But lately, after reading so much about our religion, culture etc. I've started thinking if following rituals, thinking about God, meditating etc. may actually help me become an even better person and help me deal with the day-to-day little struggles of life. I don't have any soul-searching questions that need to be answered but I think doing all this may be the answer to a restlessness that has been growing in me lately. Also, shouldn't I follow some kind of ritual that I can pass on to my child, some little traditions? I think I should. But I want it to be something I totally believe in..not something I do just because everyone does it or because it's the norm.

Anybody with an opinion/piece of advice, please feel free to comment.

Movie Review-Vantage Point

2008-07-04T12:46:00.000+05:30

After a long time, I saw a movie that I was really satisfied with. I mean, hubby and I are big movie fans and watch a whole lot of movies...So I've become pretty jaded as far as being excited about a movie is concerned. Even recent good movies like "Wall E" and "The Bucket List" couldn't move me that much.

But "Vantage Point" was a good change. For once, I was actually unable to predict what would happen next. The story revolves around the assassination of the US President in Spain. As it moves forward, it sees the one incident, the shooting of the President, from points of view of seven different people. Each person's "vantage point" provides clues to solving the jigsaw puzzle of who shot the President. Very nice!

However, the only jarring point was the end. It seemed too contrived and convenient to end the way it did. Barring that, "Vantage Point" did deliver its promise of being "an-edge-of-the-seat thriller"!

Orbis Terrarum Challenge - Book 3 - The Map of Love

2008-07-01T11:35:00.000+05:30

Finished my third book for the Orbis Terrarum Challenge. This time it was "The Map of Love" by Egyptian author, Ahdaf Souief.

"The Map of Love" is the story of Amal, a contemporary Egyptian who comes across an old trunk full of letters, journals and notes by Anna, who was her great-aunt,written during the years 1901 through 1912. While going through the contents of the trunk, she discovers who Anna was and pieces together her fascinating love story with Sharif Basha.

Anna was a British widow who came to Egypt for a visit, fell in love with an Egyptian gentleman, Sharif Basha and spent more than a decade being happily married to him while history was taking its course through Egypt.

Amal's brother and Isabel(Anna's granddaughter) form the 2nd couple in the late 1990s, whose love-story also reflects the changing political landscape.

However, it was the early 20th century love-story held me spell-bound. Anna comes across as a strong, passionate and loving woman who was very sure of what she wanted and didn't care what others thought about her. Her love for Sharif was so fierce that she gave up her country, her countrymen, her relatives all for his love, which seemed so improbable and fragile in the beginning but blossomed into something deep-rooted and strong.

Amal's affection for her brother and his fiancee, her concern for her village-people, her country is touching too. Sharif Basha leaves an impression on the heart as the strong, silent rock of a man who has a core of tender passion hidden inside.

Before reading the book, I knew close to nothing about Egypt, it's history, it's politics etc. So, while some of the political details were not too clear to me, it really helped me learn quite a bit about the country.

Next in line: "The Name of the Rose" by Umberto Eco.

My Favorite Literary Characters

2008-06-25T12:10:00.000+05:30

Shruthi tagged me to do this one. Thanks Shruthi, I second Devaki in saying that this is most enjoyable for a book-lover like me!
Ok, so I am supposed to list ten of my favorite characters from literature. So here goes:

1) Tracy Whitney (If Tomorrow Comes - Sidney Sheldon): As far as I can remember, this was the first character in any book that really made me go "Wow!". I read this book when I was a teenager and now that I'm older I realise that her character was quite unrealistic, come to think of it. But who cares, I just loved the fact that this innocent, happy girl goes through hell but does not let it break her spirit and comes back and plots the most delightful revenges on her enemies!!! Yay, Tracy!!
2)Jonathan Livingston Seagull (Jonathan Livingston Seagull - Richard Bach): Ok, maybe it's odd to have a seagull as your favorite character but anyone who has read this book cannot fail to care for this little bird. I read this book a long long time ago and don't remember the details except that it's about this young seagull and how he finds the courage to spread his wings and fly!!
3)Barney Livingston (Doctors - Erich Segal): One of my all-time favorite books! I loved Barney for the loyal friend that he is to Laura all their lives, finally realizing that they are made for each other. It was my kind of ideal love-story and he was my kind of best-friend-turned-lover!!
4) & 5) William Lowell Kane & Abel Rosnovski (Kane and Abel - Jeffrey Archer): What can I say about these two. Both very strong, very inspirational yet very different persons who are born on the same day worlds apart. The characters and the story is so fascinating I'm still surprised why this was not made into a blockbuster movie. This was the book that I read throughout an overnight bus journey in the light of the only small light-bulb in the bus that was on.
6)Harry Potter (the Harry Potter series - J K Rowling): But of course! What a boy! For a young boy who's been abused by relatives almost all his life to one who discovers precious friends, his magical powers, his legacy, the pain and danger that comes along with it, Harry took me on a journey that was truly magical! And to think I almost didn't read the series thinking it was kids' stuff!
7)Hassan (The Kite-Runner - Khaled Husseini): Even though Aamir was the protagonist in this story, it was Hassan's disarming innocence, his utter, unfailing devotion to Aamir and his courage and moral strength that captivated me.
8)Sudha (Sister of My Heart - Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni): This was a story about 2 girls who grow up in the same household, are as close as two sisters can be and go through difficult times separated from each other. Sudha's story is especially poignant as she goes from being an eager-to-please young bride to a strong mother finally standing up for herself and her baby. Given the traditional way she was raised, it took tremendous courage to do what she did.
9)Miss Marple and 10)Hercule Poirot (Mysteries by Agatha Christie):I love Agatha Christie's stories but none as much as those featuring either Miss Marple or Hercule Poirot! Miss Marple is so lovely as the seemingly fluttery old woman who actually hides a razor-sharp brain behind all that pink, fluffy wool. And Hercule Poirot, the quintessential eccentric foreigner (Belgian, not French!) who irritates most people but ultimately solves the most baffling of mysteries!!

Well, here they are...my favorite characters from books. I may have missed some...but these are what I remember most right now. And some characters eg. Samwise Gamgee from LOTR I couldn't include because I haven't read the books, only seen the movies. So now I'm really tempted to do something similar with movies/songs!!

Ok, let's see whom should I tag now? How about Hiphopgmom(I know you are busy but I'd love your take on this), nm, divya, snippets, lekhni and ps?

That's Some Panda!!

2008-06-23T20:34:00.001+05:30

We went and saw Kung Fu Panda the last weekend. As expected it was cute and funny and beautifully done. Here's the gist of it.

Po is this sweet, big clumsy Panda in China who helps his dad in his noodle restaurant but is a big Kung Fu fan and dreams of being a great Kung Fu fighter some day. Well, one day his dreams come true and he is anointed as the great "Dragon Warrior", which surprises a lot of people, including himself! He faces a lot of hostility and coldness during his training, especially from his master himself who does not believe in him. Eventually the master comes around and events occur that teach Po the Ultimate Truth, "There is no Secret Ingredient"! I will not explain that because that would ruin the whole fun of the movie.

All in all, it was a typical feel-good, funny movie both for kids and adults but there was one thing that I felt made this different from others of the kind. In most of these "Ultimately the good prevails over evil, poor kid becomes Superhero rags to riches" kind of stories, there is one life-altering event after which the "Poor Kid/Guy" transforms into this wonderful, brave, strong Hero, leaving behind all his weaknesses. While here, even after Po learns the martial arts, stands up to his master, earns the respect of his peers, he still remains essentially the bumbling awkward wide-eyed Panda who is repeatedly surprised ("Whoa") by his own abilities. He doesn't lose his innocence and his vulnerability. That was the one thing that I loved the movie for.
Its message; It's ok to be yourself and still be strong and brave. One doesn't have to change completely to become a better person.
Kung Fu Panda, you are Awesome!!

Time for Myself

2008-06-23T20:05:00.000+05:30

Last week I went away. Away from my family, my home. I spent two days in another city without my husband and son. And it was such a refreshing change!!
Initially I was worried about my 5 year-old; would be be OK without me? How would my husband manage with him and his work? But on my good friend G's insistence I decided to go ahead and agree.
She sponsored my stay and attendance at a convention in that city. So I got to meet people in my own field of study after a long long time. It felt odd to realise that the world has moved on while I had been busy with home and hearth, totally out of touch with the subject of my studies and work in the past. It was a little disorienting to hear the forgotten lingo and know the strides that had been made in the area. Of course it was also exhilarating!
Just two days out of my comfortable cocoon made me look at my life from a third person's point of view. I saw the kind of person domesticity had made me and the kind of people that were out there. It was like looking at yourself with a telescope.
And these are the things that I concluded at the end of the trip:
1)I had a great life but I could do so much more than I was already doing. Could be a much better person, a better mother, wife and more than I already was.
2)I had great friends who cared about me. One pushed and prodded me into taking this break, another saw to it that I was well-equipped sartorially for it, another spent time with me so that I wouldn't be bored. Back at home neighbors took care to look in on my family and help in any small way. In short, I was so lucky to have these people in my life!
3)And most importantly, my family survived just fine without me! Sure, it was a little blow to my ego that my son had a ball with his father and did not miss me at all, but then I was thankful for it. Hubby handled everything admirably despite a busy schedule. Thanks a ton!
4)Best of all, when I came back I was greeted with "I missed You!" and hugs and squeals...Hadn't heard that for a while!!

Thank you everyone who made this trip possible and so much fun. You know who you are even if I don't name you.

Movie Review - "Rendition"

2008-06-06T12:20:00.000+05:30

Synopsis:
An Egyptian-born chemical engineer living in the US for over 20 years, with an American education, high-paying job, in short living the American dream, is hurled into a nightmare when a bomb explodes in Egypt killing an American agent. He's captured while entering the US from a trip abroad on charges of having contact with the bomb-makers and taken to Egypt where the local police uses barbaric methods to extract information regarding the bomb-blast. The CIA is party to this "torture for information that could save lives" policy so they turn their backs on him.

Meanwhile the accused's pregnant wife desperately tries to find her husband and approaches an old (boy)friend (Peter Sarsgaard) who works for the government. He tries to help but is thwarted by his superiors as well as his own political ambitions.

Finally the other CIA agent (Jake Gyllenhaal) who is in Egypt assisting with the interrogation of the accused takes matters into his hands and follows his instinct to do the right thing.

My Take On It:
These days very few movies leave an impression on me, maybe due to the sheer number of them that I've seen in my lifetime. I'm happy to say this one I won't forget in a hurry. Very taut script, racy action (the bomb blast scene was especially well-shot), understated but great acting by everyone, but the Egyptian Chief of Police (Yigal Naor) stays with you long after the movie is over. The side-story about his daughter is captivating and suspenseful. In short, I Like!!

Side-note: Interestingly the word "green card" is mentioned quite a few times in the movie. Why is it interesting? Because considering that it is a much used word among the Indian community in the US, it doesn't get mentioned all that much in the movies. So it was one thing we could identify ourselves with in the movie. Not a big deal, but there it is.

Orbis Terrarum Challenge - Book 2 - Talkative Man

2008-06-05T10:36:00.000+05:30

I joined the Orbis Terrarum Challenge in May '08. This is my 2nd book for the challenge. Actually it was first on my list but I had to wait till a copy was available at my library.

"Talkative Man" is written by R K Narayan from India. I had the option of many Indian authors to read but I decided to go with R K Narayan, primarily because despite his fame and popularity, I'd somehow never read his books. Yes, I'd seen the movie "Guide" based on his book by the same name and the every-popular "Malgudi Days", the television series that used to air back when we were kids, based on his books about the fictional town of Malgudi. So I decided it was high time I read one of the venerated authors of India.

"Talkative Man" is narrated in first person by the, you guessed it, Talkative Man (aka TM), whose real name is obscured by his nickname owing to his penchant for talking. Anyway, so this guy meets an intriguing "blond-haired, blue-eyed" Indian in the library and befriends him. This man, Rann, is a mysterious character, ostensibly from Timbuctoo(!!) who somehow ends up in the narrator's home as his guest. One day a woman lands in town and turns up at the narrator's house with her sob-story of how Rann cheated her. On further (and furtive) investigation TM discovers a very colourful past of his guest.

This is the gist of the story. It is a cute, simple story that gives us good insights into lives of people in small-town India. The ending had me scratching my head a little in bewilderment. Maybe I need to read the book again to understand it...

Next in line: "Map of Love"-Ahdaf Soueif

My American Idol

2008-05-22T11:13:00.001+05:30

American Idol just got over and I'm so excited that I have to write about it right away, before I sober down!

It's finally over!! After following the "American Idol" for months, from the nationwide auditions to the finale, I'm finally feeling relieved and really really happy that David Cook won the title. He and Michael Johns had been my favorites from the beginning. Michael Johns' elimination in the 7th position shocked me. Still I kept rooting for David Cook.

In the end when both Davids, David Cook and David Archuleta remained, one could clearly see the fan following that David A had. And why not? He was young (just 17!), he was cute and he had a voice to melt your heart. Most people just assumed that he would be the next Idol. The judges were super-effusive in praise for David A while more guarded for David C. Even I had kind of accepted it after last night's performance where he shone as compared to a lack-lustre (according to me) performance by David C. I still voted for David C, though.

And today, when the results hinged on one word---"Cook" or "Archuleta"---I think everyone, including the contestants themselves, thought it would be "Archuleta". I was so overjoyed when I head "Cook" that I let out an involuntary "WhoooHooo!!" (My son looked at me, surprised, wondering what was wrong with mom that she was jumping up and down at 10:00 pm!!) I am so happy tonight...I can't write anymore. I'm going to go get a glass of water and try to calm down now.

My Day!

2008-05-19T08:12:00.001+05:30

For the first time in the five years after becoming a mother, this year I really celebrated Mother's Day with my son, thanks to his preschool teachers. They had organised a Mother's Tea on the Friday preceding the Mother's Day (Sunday) wherein they invited the children's mothers to come for a party. We were requested to bring one dish each as part of the pot-luck lunch.

I don't know about the others but I was mighty excited about going to this party! So I dressed up (nicely!) and made it to the party in time with my dish, a fruit cream/custard.

As we entered the classroom, we were greeted by our respective kids who showed us something they'd made previously for us. It was a garland made by threading a string through inch-long pieces of drinking straws and paper cut-outs of flowers. Extremely tacky, I know(especially my child's, since he'd threaded all the straws together at one end and all the flowers at the other!), but it brought me to tears when my son put that garland around my neck! I was proud to wear it and show it off to everyone that day!!

Then the kids sang some songs and danced a bit, the teacher read a beautiful story called "Love You Forever" and then we were led to our places on the tables. The kids had decorated teapot-shaped place mats. We had a great lunch with our kids. There was an assortment of dishes owing to the multi-cultural environment at the class. So there was vegetable pulao with raita, chocolate cake, chicken puffs, angel food cake, macaroni salad, gulab jamun....now I know what a smorgasbord looks like!!

But the best part was reserved for the last. After the lunch, the teachers gave every mother a gift. It was a framed picture that had been drawn by the children. My son had drawn me and my husband and written his name on split-levels! (He makes such adjustments whenever he runs out of space.) It was so beautiful I'll cherish it for life.
I am so thankful for the teachers of my son's preschool for the wonderful Mother's day I had; and of course to my son and to God for giving me this priceless gift of motherhood.

Wow, this must be the mushiest post I've ever written!! But I don't care, for I mean every word of it!

What makes us strong?

2008-05-09T21:42:00.000+05:30

Have you ever seen a conversation "hijacked" by someone? As in, a conversation was going in a particular direction and then someone came along, picked it up and carried it to a totally different place and you couldn't do anything about it? It happened to me a few days back. Let me explain.

At my son's school some other mothers and I started chatting while we were waiting to pick our kids up. We had a party coming up (for Mother's day) in two days for which we had to decide who was going to bring what dish (It was a pot-luck party). We were in the process of discussing it when one of the mothers mentioned that we should have an "appreciation week" for the teachers. (Like we have September 5th as Teachers' Day in India, in the US it is the 1st full week of May that is celebrated as Teachers' Appreciation Week) Anyway, now don't get me wrong, we were all for it because we love our kids' teachers; they're patient, friendly, smart and warm and we really appreciate what they do for our kids. But this lady just went on full-steam ahead with what we should do, what gifts the kids should bring, how we could inform the other parents etc. etc. while this still had a week to go. And by the time we decided on the Teacher's celebration details, it was time for the kids to come out and our earlier discussion about our pot-luck lunch was left incomplete.

Now, I agree that both discussions were important but couldn't the other lady see that we should have talked about the event that was to occur first more urgently? And most importantly, why didn't' any of us have the guts to stop her midway and say, "Look, we're running out of time, let's get the pot-luck thing out of the way, then we'll talk about the teacher's gifts."? I couldn't help but notice that the assertive lady was a white American while most of the "silent" group were Indian.

So does it have to do with race? Are American women more assertive/aggressive than Indians? That sounds so ridiculous that I'm going to reject that notion outright. I can think of many many Indian women who are as strong and as bold as any woman anywhere in the world.

So what is it that makes one woman self-assured, confident and bold while another meek and submissive? Is it upbringing? The way we're raised? Maybe. Maybe it does matter what a mother teaches her daughter, what values she inculcates in her.
But, I also know of girls who have been raised by very conservative, orthodox mothers but have grown up to be independent, self-confident women who've done very well for themselves, whether they are career-women or not. On the other hand, there are some girls (like me) who never seem to shed their timidity or get confident despite being raised by a strong, encouraging, positive woman like my mother.

Why is it so? Is it in the genes then? Are we 'destined' to be strong or weak from the time we're born? Or do we learn such behavior from what we see around us? {If so, then what the hell is wrong with me? :-)}

Seriously, I wish there was a magic wand which one could wave and make all girls, (irrespective of race, nationality or anything else) self-assured and confident enough to take on the world! (And of course I'd wave it over myself first!!)

Orbis Terrarum - Book 1 - The Little Prince

2008-05-08T20:08:00.000+05:30

I just finished reading "The Little Prince" by Antoine de Saint-Exupery (France). I know, I know, it is not the first book on my list but I already had it with me so I thought I'd start with it. Some time back, I think on nm's blog I saw "The Little Prince" being recommended. It is a children's book but nm's child did not enjoy it. So she was told by the person who recommended it to read it herself; it would make more sense to her than to her son. Well, I took the (indirect) advice and got the book from the library for myself. Then when I joined the OT challenge, I thought I'd read this book as part of it. As a coincidence(good omen?), the day I started reading it, there was a great review in the San Francisco Chronicle about the play based on The Little Prince being performed by the San Francisco Opera. So naturally, my interest was piqued and I got down to reading it in earnest.
It is about a pilot(the author) whose plane goes down in the Sahara desert and he's trying to repair the damage when this little boy(prince) appears out of nowhere and starts asking him strange questions. The prince lives on a small planet with 3 volcanoes and a rose plant. At one point, he leaves his planet to go visit other planets in the Universe. He meets very interesting people and learns something from each of them. To me this was the most interesting part of the story.
But after that, everything is fuzzy in my memory. I really couldn't make any sense of what was happening. I'm terribly disappointed that I did not understand the book! You know, as they say in India, "It went bouncer over my head!" I'm sure the problem lies with me if I can't seem to "get" what is regarded as a brilliant, philosophical book. But I do wish that I had a better "review" to post at the beginning of this reading challenge.
Anyway, here's on to the next book. Hopefully, I'll be able to do a better job this time......

Orbis Terrarum Challenge

2008-05-04T06:24:00.000+05:30

Continuing from my previous post..... After a lot of deliberation on which books I should include, here is my tentative list of books to read for the Orbis Terrarum Challenge. Tentative, because some of the books may change, subject to availability or if I find something more appealing... However, I will try and stick to the list and the order in which I read the books.

1)The Talkative Man - R K Narayan (India)
2)One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez (Colombia)
3)The Little Prince - Antoine de Saint-Exupery (France)
4)Half of a Yellow Sun - Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie - (Nigeria)
5)The Map of Love - Ahdaf Souief (Egypt)
6)The Bonesetter's Daughter - Amy Tan (China)
7)The Whale Rider - Witi Ihimaera (New Zealand)
8)Funny Boy - Shyam Selvadurai (Sri Lanka)
9)The Name of the Rose - Umberto Eco (Italy)

A big Thank You to all of you who responded with suggestions. I have not been able to get all your suggested books on this list but that doesn't mean I have not made a note of them. (I have made an unofficial reading wish-list of my own!) I'm thankful to this challenge and my readers already because they have brought to my notice so many great authors that I may otherwise not have heard of.

Book Challenge-Help Needed!

2008-04-30T23:42:00.000+05:30

I was blog-hopping and came across this one. http://exlibrisbb.blogspot.com/search/label/orbis%20terrarum%20challenge
Orbis Terrarum is a reading challenge. Apparently there are many reading challenges going around but this was my first encounter with one. To take up this challenge, you have to read 9 different books by 9 authors from 9 different countries in 9 months. The challenge has already started since April 1st and ends in December. I want to sign up but I'm having trouble thinking of the 9 different authors. I can think of a few off the top of my head but I'd love it if whoever reads this sent in their suggestions. I don't think I'll have problems finding Indian and American authors, even British. But it'd be great if you could suggest authors from some other countries. Time is running out......

Sister of my Heart

2008-04-29T20:07:00.001+05:30

I recently finished reading "Sister of my Heart" by Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni. I must admit, I was skeptical when I picked the book up from the library because I associated the author with "The Mistress of Spices", which was made into a movie which was criticized as much for the story as for Aishwarya Rai's insipid acting. But was I mistaken!
I took to the book from page one. It is about two girls, cousins who grow up in the same house and are very close to each other. It is about an old respected Calcutta household and the hardships and challenges the family faces over a period of time. It is about the girls' journey through childhood and adolescence to womanhood, marriage and motherhood with many a twist along the way.
I could vividly imagine the Chatterjee's house, the girls Sudha and Anju, the driver Singhji, Anju's apartment in the US and every other detail, so well has Ms.CBD portrayed everything.
She drew me in into the lives of the characters and I couldn't wait to find out what happened next! So I finished the book in about 2 days...reading when I had even a minute. The tea is boiling? Let me read one page here. Dinner getting ready? I can catch up on a few pages there. And at the end of the day, after everyone goes to bed, I have the luxury of curling up on the couch with the book for a few uninterrupted minutes of reading before I too succumb to sleep...though not because of the book.
As is my habit, I imagine this book being made into a Hindi movie and start thinking which actress will play whom? I haven't been able to decide...Maybe someone else who's read the book can suggest something? I was thinking of Kirron Kher as Nalini, or maybe even Gouri. (Though this exercise worked pretty well for "The Hindi Bindi Club" by Monica Pradhan which I thoroughly enjoyed. I have worked out all (almost all) the characters in that book if ever it is made into a movie. But more on that some other time!)
So, all in all, I loved "Sister of My Heart". Now I am waiting for "Palace of Illusions" by the same author.